Moving Forward

3 1/2 Months Old!

2010-08-22T15:07:00.006-04:00

Our girl is getting so big!

Milestones:
She now basically has full control of her head, can lift her head and chest off the floor (and sometimes will kind of roll over to her side), grabs toys and brings them to her mouth, and as of last week...drumroll please...she is NAPPING in her CRIB!

I'm pretty sure it was my fault that napping had been such an issue, but I just didn't realize that I would have to insist on napping with a tiny baby. Our new plan is that when I can tell she's sleepy, we go to her nursery, draw the blinds, swaddle her up. turn on her white noise, and rock until she falls asleep. When I started this nap crusade, she would scream for about 10 minutes before giving in to her sleepiness, and we are down to about 3 minutes of screaming and a few more minutes of quiet complaining now. I hate that she gets so upset going down for a nap, but she wakes up so cheerful and ready to play. The big smiles and happy moods tell me that this is good for her.

It is so much fun to watch her grow and learn. I feel like she has major changes every week now as she becomes more coordinated and aware of her surroundings.

We are getting ready to leave for a vacation at the beach for a week. When we return, I hope to blog more often now that Lydie is napping on her own...

Malia and Lydia

Mike, Lydia, Piper and Paige at our Birth Class Reunion

Poppy and our little Koala Bear

8 Weeks Old!

2010-07-07T09:18:00.004-04:00

Last week we had some gorgeous weather so we took advantage of it! Lydie isn't really into her car seat these days (hates it!) so we went for lots of walks with her in the Bjorn. This carrier is great for walking because she can face outwards and take in her world. I am amazed every day by how much more she seems to be able to process.

She pretty much always returns home in this state...

I'm bummed that it's so hot again because it's basically impossible to take her out in this kind of heat. I cannot wait for fall!

Anyway, we've also been able to spend some time with Pops and Squirty lately. One afternoon we just sat around on their back porch for hours. They're only in town sometimes so we have to see them lots when they're here!

Lydie's biggest change recently has been her level of interaction. She smiles and coos all the time and is so much fun to play with. She loves her bouncy seat for short periods of time and gets excited when her toys come out. She even has favorites! (as interpreted by how much she smiles and flails her arms when shown each one.)

And some things never change... she always smiles and makes funny faces when Daddy is around!

She still gets up several times a night. Sometimes twice, sometimes 3 or 4 times, but it does seem like we are moving in the right direction overall. I'm hoping that it will become even better now that her finger issue is resolved...

For those that don't know the story, here's what happened in a nutshell...

Lydia was born with a little skin tag on her right pinkie finger. Her pediatrician tied it off with a suture about a month ago, it turned black and shriveled up, but it never fell off. Then last week it started looking red and swollen at the base. After a round of antibiotics failed to improve the situation, it was decided that her body was rejecting the suture and that we would see an orthopaedic surgeon to have the whole thing removed. We went yesterday, and after worrying that it would hurt the baby and fretting all morning, the surgeon walked in and pulled the suture and the dead skin off in the first two minutes of being in the room and told us to wash it with soap and water several times a day. Seriously!? I was really happy that it was so easy, but it seemed like a big production for something we could have done at home. In any case, her finger already looks way better and it doesn't seem to be as sensitive as it was before. So glad to have the whole ordeal behind us!

Other than that, we've gone to several parties, visited with lots of family and friends, and Mike and I are starting to get a little bit of Mommy and Daddy time after Lydie goes to bed at night. She's usually down around 8 and we sit on the back porch and unwind until our bedtime at 9 or 10. It's a lot of work, this baby, but she is a true joy and a light.

A Controversial Thought

2010-07-03T15:12:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure if Lydia's Birth Day was the best day of my life.

When I try to pinpoint that day, certain events come to mind, like kickin it on the beach in Maui with my family on a great vacation when I was about 12; the day I married my amazing husband, we ate and lounged all day and then spent the evening in a giant bubble bath; one particularly great camping trip on the Parkway where we discovered a magical waterfall that was surrounded by tiny lavender butterflies...

Vomiting. Retching. Groaning. Sobbing. Bleeding. Pushing. Best day ever? I don't know.

My mother in law came to visit today and we ate lunch on a shady patio at one of our favorite restaurants. We had a delicious meal, enjoyed the cool, breezy afternoon, and I sipped iced tea leisurely while I watched my tiny daughter sleep in her Grandma's arms. It was a pretty fine afternoon.

Lydia has made my life so much more real, and it helps me appreciate the great moments that come and go so quickly that true gratitude is often forgotten.

And on an equally real level, the hard moments at 3 a.m. with no sleep and a diaper blowout can be painfully raw and miserable. The third hour of rocking a cranky baby is kind of soul sucking.

But then, out of no where, a little smile spreads across her face and WHAM!... the love is so potent that it knocks me to my knees. My heart explodes. Fireworks of pride and happiness go off inside me. I am her, and she is me, and we are one.

This love is a really important tool that the universe gives parents. It's what gives me the strength to pop out of bed and go to her nursery when I hear her cries boom through the monitor... even when she wants to eat every two hours, like last night. (We're having some sleep issues this week, if you can't tell.) It's what makes labor and delivery worth it and the only reason I will ever consider getting pregnant again.

And this love, like the love I have for her Daddy, builds with every day that passes. It deepens each minute I hold her and it changes me. Makes me tougher to fight the challenges of parenthood. Softens me so that I can attend to her every need quicker and better than the day before. And it skews reality just enough so that I will always adore her no matter what she needs or how hard the journey feels.

This slightly skewed reality compounded with the burning love and the hours of hard work I've put in as her Mommy, do make her birthday, the beginning of this crazy adventure, feel extremely special. I really cannot even imagine my life without her now. And feeling her warm body in my arms and seeing her squished, little face for the first time was certainly one of the best MOMENTS of my life.

But probably not the best day.

Great Grandparents!

2010-06-29T14:35:00.004-04:00

Lydie got to meet more of her great grandparents this morning! Yay!

Daddy's Girl

2010-06-29T13:58:00.004-04:00

From the very beginning...

Family Shots

2010-06-24T12:25:00.005-04:00

Hanging in the Salon with Aunt Kelly

Meeting Eli (who wasn't so sure what to think)

Snoozing with Lolly on the front porch

Indigo and Uncle Keith make me smile!

My cousin Riley (us girls are going to have to stick together with all of our boy cousins!)

Childbearing is Glamorous, Week 43

2010-06-08T21:02:00.002-04:00

I have 30 pounds to lose, stretch marks still STARTING to appear on my hips, and hemorrhoids. Also, I don't fit correctly into any of my maternity clothes... or regular clothes.

Just had to get that off my chest...

:)

Four Weeks Old!

2010-06-07T16:38:00.012-04:00

It's really hard for me to believe that Lydie is almost a month old! What a whirlwind! In these first weeks, we have gotten to know a little bit about our girl.

First of all, she is a cuddle bug. She wants to be held every moment that she is awake, and really she prefers to be held while she sleeps, too. Thankfully, however, she is doing a pretty great job at sleeping in her crib at night and will usually take one nap a day in there too. She also loves to sleep in her Ergo baby carrier. It has become our fail safe if Lydie is having trouble falling asleep or gets cranky while we are out... just pop her in and she's content.

Lydie LOVES tummy time! She starts out lifting her little head to look at me while she practices her "crawling" and after she is worn out will just lay around for a few minutes. She always releases a lot of gas during tummy time, so I think it actually makes her feel better too!

She does not like to have her hands confined. This means that we have to swaddle her right below her arms so that she can flail them around while she sleeps (hilarious).

She has been a great eater from day 1. We tried to nurse within 15 minutes of her arrival, she latched right on and away we went...

...this means that she is also a great pooper. We have at least one diaper blow out a day. Last night she was wearing a onesie and Mike was holding her in the kitchen when it happened. I was pumping in the living room when I heard it. There was a long pause and Mike started laughing hysterically and yelling, "Oh My God, Oh My God..." It got all over Lydia, Mike's shirt, pants, and shoes, and all over the floor. Thank goodness they weren't standing over the white carpet!

Unfortunately, my baby has reflux! We had two nights that she hardly slept and she just wailed around the clock. She would scream while she was eating and would make this weird gagging/swallowing noise. We took her to her pediatrician and now she is on some medicine for it. We also had to prop her crib up on one side so that her head can be slightly elevated while she sleeps. Since her first dose, she has returned to sleeping well at night and happily eats!

So, Lydie has A LOT of hair for a baby which prompted me to get out the blow dryer one evening when she was chilly. She went from crying and shivering to happily laying around and waving her arms and legs the minute I turned it on. So, now she gets her entire body blow dried after every bath. I just turn on the low, warm setting and I can get all her little hard to dry spots like her fanny and her neck.

Just this week we have started to give Lydie a bottle. The first attempt was a total bust and made her really mad, but last night she drank an entire bottle from her Daddy! YES! Freedom! Don't get me wrong, I'm not anxious to leave her for very long, but the idea of being able to go out to dinner with my hubby is very appealing.

I'll leave you with a few more pictures from our first month together. It has been the best and the hardest four weeks of my life. :)

Lydia's Birth Day

2010-06-04T14:25:00.004-04:00

Also known as the day that Mother Nature knocked me to my knees and humbled me.

On Monday, May 10th, at 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant, I woke up around 5:30 a.m. at the peak of a contraction. I remember thinking to myself that this was different than other contractions I had been having over the previous weeks; that it felt a little more intense. A few minutes later, I had another one so I began timing them just in case this was the real deal. I realized that they were coming every 6 or 7 minutes and woke Mike up to discuss what was happening. By this point, it was around 6:30 a.m. and we decided to send Mike's mom a text to give his parents a heads up that I might be in labor. We still weren't 100% sure that it was go-time, but since they would be coming from out of town, we wanted them to know.

We decided then to get up and move into the living room, make some breakfast, and start listening to my Hypnobabies CD. Within half an hour, I was in a lot of pain, the contractions were coming every 4 or 5 minutes, and I was positive that I was in labor. Mike had made egg and cheese bagels for breakfast and the smell of them was making me sick. Rosey was running around, probably feeding off of our nervous energy, and I asked that she be put upstairs. And, most notably to me, I was becoming irate with the Hypnobabies scripts. Each time I heard the words,"easy, comfortable, beautiful childbirth," I kept thinking that I was in big trouble. That was NOT the experience I was having and it really freaked me out that this was our birth plan. We had practiced everyday. We had done the work. Why was I in so much pain? Why the hell couldn't I pull it together for the big event?

I realized very quickly that I would be left to my own devices. An epidural was already sounding pretty damn good. I remember looking at Mike and saying, "it's time to call the Birth Center but what I really want to do is go straight to the hospital." But, we decided to call over to Women's Birth and Wellness and page the midwife on duty around 7:45. Leigh Ann called us back a few minutes later and Mike told her what was going on. She asked to speak to me, at which time she told me to just keep doing what we were doing and to call them back around lunch time.

LUNCH TIME?

I think this was the moment that our original birth plan officially went flying out the window. I knew that we didn't have that much time. I needed antibiotics for group B Strep and this baby was on her way and fast! Lunch time? I started freaking out.

During the next 45 minutes, things continued to pick up. I started throwing some last minute things into my bag and Mike started packing up the car. The contractions were literally bringing me to my knees and they were coming every 3 or 4 minutes. Mike called the Birth Center back around 8:45 and told them we were on our way for a labor check.

As we planned for our birthing time, I pictured us calmly packing things up, feeling very sentimental about leaving Rosey to go have a baby, calling our in-town friends and family on the car ride and arriving with a huge smile on my face. In reality, we threw things into the car, I was hyperventilating and doubled over on the stairs until I basically ran to the car, I had forgotten that we had a dog or that there was anyone else in the universe, let alone anyone that I needed to CALL at that moment. Labor had come on fast and furiously for me and it was so much stronger than I had given it credit for.

We arrived at the Birth Center around 9 a.m. and I all but crawled into a Birthing Room where Alison checked me for the first time. I was 4 cm dilated so she suggested I take a walk until I was 5 cm and could officially check-in. This was another moment I remember freaking out because there was no way in hell I was going for a walk in my condition. This labor did not need to be expedited. I knew it was moving along just fine by itself, thankyouverymuch. Because there were several empty rooms, Alison let us stay, thank goodness, after I told her that I couldn't possibly move. Debbie had arrived by this point and I was relieved that she was there to support us, but all I wanted was to go to the hospital and get an epidural. It was all I could think about.

At 10 or 10:30, Alison rechecked me and I was a stretchy 5 cm. Yep, things were moving fast! I told her that I definitely wanted to go to the hospital and she tried to talk me into staying at the Birth Center a little longer and suggested I get into the tub. I agreed, she started running the bath water and walked out of the room to get something. Mike looked at me and said, God bless him, “if you want to go, we can just go. You don’t have to get into the tub if you don’t want to.” That was all I needed to hear…

So Mike went to tell Alison that I wanted to go to the hospital immediately. She said that she would have to call over and that we could leave in about 20 or 30 minutes. When he came back into the room with that report I was already mentally at the hospital and I replied, “I am leaving RIGHT NOW and if she can’t come with us, that’s her problem.” I got off the bed and walked out into the reception area. I had to sign some piece of paper before we left (I had no idea what it said and couldn’t have cared less if I was selling my soul at that moment) so I grabbed the clipboard, drew a straight line across the signature line and walked right out the door into the parking lot where I promptly threw up. A lot.

Mike, Deb and I got into one car and headed to the hospital. I was groaning through contractions by this point and was sincerely pissed off that Mike wouldn’t run red lights.

We arrived around 11 a.m. and it took forever to get a wheelchair for some reason. Finally, we got one and Mike wheeled me up to Labor and Delivery. Again, I signed a bunch of papers without a clue of what they said and finally made it into my room. I remember sitting on the bed and thinking it was WAY softer than the bed at the Birth Center.

Because I had thrown up, I was very dehydrated at this point and it took 45 minutes, at least 5 pokes and 2 nurses to get a good IV line in me. Eventually, fluids were started, my antibiotics were going and Anesthesia was paged to come to my room. For someone who didn’t think that they originally wanted any kind of intervention, I sure was begging for them to hurry up.

And FINALLY they arrived and I was hooked up by noonish. The way an epidural works, I learned, is that you are given a dose of medicine into your spine that numbs you fast and lasts about 45 minutes until the epidural begins to fully kick in. I felt great, totally relaxed, remembered everyone else that I had intended to call hours earlier and got on the horn. I was in great spirits, SO happy I was at the hospital. And just for the record, I never even felt the epidural go in. (I’ve had several people ask me if it hurt…)

My people started arriving and I was having a jolly time greeting everyone and starting to celebrate that we were about to meet our baby. For the first time all day, it occurred to me that the BABY was coming. I hadn’t even really thought about that! HOORAY!

Well, that 45 minutes was really, really nice.

Then the original dose of medicine wore off and it became obvious very quickly that the epidural wasn’t working. At All.

Oh shit.

I went from having to breathe through contractions again to thrashing around in the bed screaming obscenities within a twenty minute time span. I was again begging for Anesthesia to come back and HELP ME.

Around this time, Alison checked me to see how far along I was: 8 cm and transitioning. I kept thinking I was going to throw up, which I never really did, and I seriously, truly thought I was going to lose consciousness at any minute. I have never ever experienced anything so powerful in my life.

I had about an hour of complete and utter, IthinkIamgoingtodie pain. My sister, Katherine, saved my life by coaching me through it and Debbie, Kelly and Mike were taking turns fanning me, wiping me down with washcloths, and holding or supporting various body parts.

Then around 2:15 I said, “I think I can push,” which prompted Alison to check me again. I was fully dilated, so she broke my water and I remember Kat looking at me and saying, “you can push now if you want.” Hallelujah! A little control. I held on to the top of the bed with my left hand and to a sheet for pulling with my right hand and I bared down with everything I had. I was ready for it to be over and I knew that getting her out was the only way to stop the pain. Thankfully she wanted to come quickly and we were a good team. She was born after 20 minutes of pushing at 2:43 p.m. and I have never felt joy and relief like I did in the moment that I grabbed her and pulled her up to my chest.

She weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. She came out and had a few soft cries and was a beautiful pink color right from the start.

The next hour or so is a blur that involved delivering the placenta, getting one stitch put in, snuggling the baby and eating a cheeseburger.

Since that moment, things have been crazy wonderful. We are so in love with Lydia and incredibly thankful that she arrived safely.

Lydia's Arrival in Pictures (complete story coming soon...)

2010-05-31T16:08:00.007-04:00

38 Weeks

2010-05-04T12:57:00.003-04:00

Maternity clothes? When I actually bother to get out of my pajamas...

Sleep: I've had a head cold during the past week, so the first few nights I kept waking up to blow my nose and cough. The last several nights, however, I've slept like a rock for at least 12 hours. I think my body is working really hard to heal before BIRTHDAY!

Best moment this week: On Sunday night we had dinner at my Godmother's house and got to spend some time with lots of people we love. There really hasn't been much baby related stuff going on. I've just been wishing her to stay in until I'm completely well. I'm much better now, but I'm still hoping for a few days to recover.

Movement: Because I have been really low key this week, I have noticed all of her movements. She's been wiggling a lot and pressing her little feet out on my right side. It's too funny.

Gender: Girl

Birthing Signs: ?? I don't think so. Some pelvic pressure, some birthing waves, but nothing that has made me really wonder if it was time... I've started taking herbs and evening primrose oil, so I'm hoping they're helping to prepare my body.

Stretch Marks? Still two on my left hip.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Nada

What I am looking forward to: Mike's birthday on Thursday. He's taking the day off of work and I LOVE it when he's home in the middle of the week!

What I miss: Regular breathing. I will be so happy when I kick this cold completely!

Weekly Wisdom: Sleep it off.

37 Weeks

2010-04-28T11:05:00.002-04:00

apologies for the dark picture...

Sleep: I'd say that I am waking up a lot more frequently but still falling back asleep easily.

Best moment this week: Last Friday I had some bodywork done by Claire Marie Miller. She is an incredible massage therapist and did a lot of work to open my pelvic muscles. I could tell after the sacral release that the baby could move more easily and I thought that was pretty amazing. I've always been interested in doing prenatal work but this made me a true believer.

Movement: She is slowing down a little bit but still kicking around in there. Hopefully she'll be moving on out pretty soon.

Gender: Girl

Birthing Signs: Hmm... having Braxton Hicks and some pelvic pressure. And if nesting is a sign of impending birth, she should be coming pretty soon... I spent 6 hours cleaning the house yesterday like a mad woman. I knew I was being crazy, but I just couldn't stop myself.

Stretch Marks? Make that two over my left hip...

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Ben and Jerry's Milk and Cookies Ice Cream.

What I am looking forward to: Being on the other side of birthing, holding my little sweet pea in my arms.

What I miss: Ha.

Weekly Wisdom: ?? Hang on, we're almost there ?? Does that count?

As a side note, I tested positive for Group B Strep at my appointment this morning, so I'll have to get an IV of antibiotics during my birthing time. I only have to be hooked up for 15 minutes every 4 hours and I can still walk around with the IV, so it shouldn't be too big of a deal. It also means that after the birth, I will be staying at the birth center for a minimum of 12 hours instead of 6 and they will monitor Lydie a little bit more closely in the days following her arrival, just to be extra careful.

36 Weeks

2010-04-20T10:45:00.003-04:00

Maternity clothes? Yes, I still fit into a few of them.

Sleep: Fine.

Best moment this week: On Sunday afternoon, we laid on a blanket under the trees in our front yard for several hours. We ate lunch, talked to neighbors that walked by, took a nap, played with Rosey, and just hung out. The weather was gorgeous and it was so relaxing.

Movement: I love to feel her little feet pressing outwards and watch the huge waves she creates on my belly when she moves.

Gender: Girl

Birthing Signs: Just continued Braxton Hicks that increase in frequency as the day goes on and I become more tired. I actually have felt less pelvic pressure this week than last week but more soreness in my hips and lower back.

Stretch Marks? Sigh, yes. I have one right over my left hip. This is probably not a good sign of things to come... But, that's okay!

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Not really.

What I am looking forward to: I'm getting a massage from THE woman to go to for prenatal work on Friday... like she's known around the country for it. I'm so excited and feel so lucky!

What I miss: Nesting is in full force (I actually vacuumed out the spice drawer in the kitchen on Saturday...) which has given me a dose of energy that I haven't had in a long time. It has made me realize how much I'm looking forward to getting back into my old body.

Weekly Wisdom: Marry someone that takes care of you with a smile. I swear Mike is wonderful to me even when I'm sick of hearing myself complain. He has made this pregnancy so much easier and more comfortable for me. Sorry, honey, I have to brag on you sometimes... :)

The Nursery is Done!

2010-04-14T15:26:00.001-04:00

35 Weeks

2010-04-14T14:06:00.005-04:00

Maternity clothes? ugh.

Sleep: Still pretty good. I'm waking up a little bit more frequently because my hips get sore when I lie on one side for too long. Basically there is a lot of side-switching.

Best moment this week: We got some major things checked off of our Before-Baby-Checklist including, having the house painted and installing new lights, cleaning out the shed, preparing for our yard sale this weekend, and some other little projects around the house. Next on the list, cleaning out cars, installing car seat bases, and finishing our packing for the Birth Center.

Movement: I can tell this baby is getting bigger by the day because of her movements. I mostly just feel big rolls around my belly with the occasional rib or bladder kick.

Gender: Girl

Birthing Signs: I think the baby has dropped and I'm having a lot more Braxton Hicks.

Stretch Marks? Hmm... I might, *might* be getting a stretch mark above my left hip but the jury is still out. I'll keep you posted.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: I'm wanting fresh fruit and veggies... and chocolate muffins.

And on the other hand, while cleaning out the shed, I found the box of Tide I had thrown out there during my first trimester and it still makes me sick to get the smallest whiff of it. I think it is such a weird aversion.

What I am looking forward to: Getting to week 37 so that I can responsibly wish her out.

What I miss: Pants with buttons, jogging, spring concerts, rolling over without pain, diet coke, motivation, coordination, and giving massages.

Weekly Wisdom: I swear I am still trying to enjoy this period of time too. Sometimes I just sit in silence and try to make a mental note of what it feels like for the house to be quiet and to have no one counting on me for their absolute survival.

As far as the pendulum swings in regard to discomfort and exhaustion, it swings in the other direction of excitement and gratitude.

34 Weeks!

2010-04-05T09:34:00.009-04:00

Hey Y'all. Sorry for missing my update last week. It has been a little crazy around here..

Maternity clothes? Basically nothing is very comfortable anymore. Mike's t-shirts are my favorite thing to lounge around in.

Sleep: I've been waking up more frequently to go to the bathroom or to adjust somehow, but I am still falling back asleep very easily and waking up feeling rested. I've also been napping during the day a lot with Rosey.

Best moment this week: Well the best moment this week sprung from the worst moment. Last Tuesday I had my 33 week appointment with the midwives, and at the end, she measured my belly as usual. Instead of measuring at 33 weeks, apparently I was measuring at 37, and she recommended that we get an ultrasound.

Even though she reassured us that everything was probably fine, we were obviously still concerned. We scheduled an appointment at the hospital for Thursday afternoon, which felt like an eternity away. Mike took Thursday off from work so that we could be together-- good or bad -- and thank goodness, the baby looked great! They estimated that she is now weighing in at 5lbs 9oz, which is in the 60th percentile and they said that the amniotic fluid levels were just fine. So, we aren't exactly sure why I was measuring that far ahead. Our guess is that it was a combination of factors... a baby that's on the bigger side, her position during the measurement, precision of the measurement, etc... Whatever the case, we are just thankful that Lydie seems to be doing well, and that news was definitely the best moment of the week!

Seeing her sweet little face was pretty awesome too!

Movement: She still moves around a lot, but as she gets bigger I can tell that she can't perform the same stunts that she once did. Her kicks and movements are harder and more defined but she isn't rolling around as much...

Gender: Baby Girl, ultrasound reconfirmed. :)

Birthing Signs: Definitely having Braxton Hicks and starting to feel a lot more pressure in my pelvis. The ultrasound tech said that her head is really low, so hopefully she is ripening everything up down there for show time in a few weeks.

Stretch Marks? Still none on the belly, but my skin is getting tighter and tighter. My fingers are crossed it has a little more give before stretch marks would happen.

Belly Button in or out? In. But a lot more shallow...

Cravings/Aversions: Vanilla soy milk and orange juice are my two favorite things right now. Not really having any lasting aversions.

What I am looking forward to: This isn't pregnancy related at all, but we are having the house painted this week and I am really excited to see the end result. We are changing the colors and all of the light fixtures and hoping that it gives the place a nice little face lift. I will say, however, that it is very very pleasing to my now active nesting instinct.

What I miss: Ease of motion

Weekly Wisdom: Umm, I keep hearing that things are going to slow down and it will feel like forever waiting on the baby to arrive... I have no doubt that this could still happen, but I feel like we are still barreling through time at a ridiculously fast pace. She is due in less than SIX WEEKS, people!

Milestones: Hmm... we took a breastfeeding class last week, which made me feel a lot more confident about what to do once she is here.

And we went out and bought the last of the baby things that we felt like we needed before her arrival. BuyBuyBaby gave us 10% off of everything that we wanted as a thank you for registering there, and they let us use 5 other 20% off (one item) coupons ON TOP of the 10% discount. It was so awesome. They were out of a few things that we needed, which were ordered and will arrive today. So, after they get here and I wash those last few things, we will officially be ready!

Baby Shower!

2010-04-05T08:18:00.007-04:00

My baby shower was on Sunday the 28th, and it was such a wonderful afternoon with friends and family!

There was lots of food...
There were presents...
Games...
Beautiful decorations...

Lots of love...

And lots and lots of clothes! Let me just tell you... Our girl has a great wardrobe now!

Thank you everyone for making it such a special day!

32 Weeks

2010-03-24T10:35:00.011-04:00

Maternity clothes? Yes and soon I will just switch to muu muus to make life easier. (just kidding but it's more appealing that I ever imagined it could be)

Sleep: OMG I am sleeping so well and so comfortably. Of course, I do get up to go to the bathroom a lot, but I have been falling back asleep very easily. I really credit my hypnobabies practice for this blessing, and I absolutely recommend hypnosis techniques for insomnia during pregnancy or otherwise.

Best moment this week: We spent the weekend with our friends, the Rineharts, who have three beautiful, hilarious daughters. On Saturday, we went to the park, had a picnic, picked flowers, and got a glimpse of life with a daughter. SO FUN!

Movement: Still feeling like kicks and rolls are getting stronger and her periods of wake and sleep are more clearly defined. Also, she gets the hiccups at least three times a day, and they are always right after I eat or drink something. It's reassuring that she is still head down since they are very low in my pelvis.

Gender: Team PINK!

Birthing Signs: Well, I finally have something interesting for this section. On Saturday night, when we were settling down for the night, my stomach was uncomfortable and I thought that I had gas or indigestion so I ignored it and drifted off to sleep. Maybe thirty minutes later I woke up and my stomach was more uncomfortable and felt tight. Definitely a pre-birthing wave.

Interesting, I thought.

Five minutes later, another. Five minutes later, another. Five minutes later, another.

Hmm, I thought. Should I wake up my husband? No, not yet.

Five minutes later, another. Five minutes later, another.

By this point, I'm trying to figure out what is going on. I am barely 32 weeks pregnant, 3 hours away from home, having a definite pattern of pre-birthing waves. I know that the body can start warming up for birthing a long time before the big event, but, in the moment, I couldn't help but wonder what was going on.

That pattern continued for about an hour, but it didn't seem to be getting more intense, so I decided to just continue my hypnobabies practice (I had been relaxing during each wave and working on my fear clearing) and try to go back to sleep. I figured if something was really going on that I would wake up again.

Well, I woke up the next morning feeling great and so proud of myself. Historically, I have had a tendency towards drama for anything relating to my body, and I felt so calm and rational about the whole situation.

In the first moments that I realized that I was having a REAL cycle of birthing waves, I will admit that my mind started spinning. --- We are in another state, the baby will need to stay in the NICU if she is born now, OMG, Mike will have to go back to work in two weeks, (almost) all of our friends and family live hours away --- but as I practiced my fear clearing, I realized that we were in a big city with a fabulous NICU, staying with wonderful friends that would be willing and able to help us through the situation, the baby is likely big enough now that she wouldn't have any MAJOR, long term issues from coming so early, and, most importantly, it was possible that my body was simply warming up for birthing her in several weeks.

As an alarmist at heart, I'm so grateful that I was able to trust in my body and simply relax. I hope that this is a good sign of what is to come during the upcoming weeks as we anticipate our little one's arrival. And for the real birthing time, for that matter.

Stretch Marks? Still none on the belly.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: I have been craving orange juice like crazy. I'm getting ready to go to Costco and stock up. :)

What I am looking forward to: Visiting with friends and family at my baby shower on Sunday!

What I miss: My mom. I always miss her, every single day and hour of my life, but there are moments these days that her absence stings more than usual. After all, the egg that created our daughter was in me, in her. It just feels wrong that she's missing all of this.

Weekly Wisdom: Focus on inner peace.

Milestones: My body is officially warming up for Lydia's birthday!

31 Weeks

2010-03-19T08:58:00.003-04:00

Maternity clothes? I had no idea how many maternity clothes I would want when this process began. There are so many size and season changes during a pregnancy, I feel like I'm always outgrowing something or the weather changes. That being said, bring on spring! I think I can wear cotton dresses everyday between now and birth-day.

Sleep: It's still great! I even slept through the night once this week! And with all this sleep has come some bizarre dreams! Two nights in a row I dreamed that my own brother was trying to kill me (!!!!) I've also dreamed that I was nursing a tiny puppy and that my baby was locked out of the house on the back porch and I couldn't get to her. Oh, hormones, you are so crazy...

Best moment this week: Mike's work shower was yesterday afternoon and it was so much fun! He works with an incredible group of people, many of whom I got to meet for the first time. They gave us an amazing gift card to Buy Buy Baby and brought in lots of food! Because so many people were at the shower, which was in the middle of the workday, it only lasted about an hour. But one of the best parts was that Mike got to come home with me afterwards! We spent the rest of the afternoon together and thought a lot about how lucky we are to have so many amazing friends.

Movement: I'm definitely starting to figure out her sleep cycle. When she's awake, her movements are getting even stronger--like sometimes it's uncomfortable rather than cute-- and she gets the hiccups at least twice a day.

Gender: Girl! However, this week I have had several people ask me if we are prepared for the baby to maybe be a boy. Does this happen often or something? Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a son and know that we would adjust quickly, but I have gotten kind of attached to the idea of my daughter arriving in a few weeks...

Birthing Signs: More Braxton Hicks, especially when I take long walks.

Stretch Marks? Still none on the belly.

Belly Button in or out? In. Maybe it's going to stay in?!

Cravings/Aversions: I think I am actually getting a little bit more sensitive about food again. So far, it's been nothing like the first trimester, but I can tell that I am getting fussier about eating certain things. Interestingly, after a long aversion to red meat, I ate two hamburgers this week and they were DELICIOUS....the trade off? Chicken makes me gag sometimes...

What I am looking forward to: We are headed to Richmond tonight to visit with some very dear friends.

What I miss: Being able to start buying tickets to spring and summer concerts as tour dates are announced. Anything we see this year will have to be purchased day-of if we are up to going. I wouldn't trade my baby for the whole world, but let's face it, there are going to be some sacrifices.

Weekly Wisdom: It's so pointless to worry about things you don't have control over. I was so worried that I wouldn't pass the Gestational Diabetes test, but I did! Yipee! Now, if I can just remember this lesson...

Milestones: Appointments with the midwives are now two weeks apart! My 33 week appointment is on 3/30 at 3:30. Weird, huh?

The Big Three Oh! (30 Weeks)

2010-03-09T14:47:00.004-05:00

Maternity clothes? Okay, I bought the pink sun dress in this picture sometime back in the fall, counting on the fact that I would love it in the spring when I was big and it was warm. So happy I did that. I wish I had bought more summer clearance last fall...

Sleep: Amazing. Hoping this trend continues.

Best moment this week: One of the best things we got accomplished this week was meeting our pediatrician. She sat down with us for 45 minutes on Saturday morning and we feel great about bringing Lydia to her. I am really relieved to have that checked off the to-do list.

Mike's uncle Frank came over later that morning and helped us get some projects completed. It was really fun to spend some time with him and get some great things done around here. We got a new toilet, new electrical switches in our bathrooms, fixed the doors to the nursery and back porch, fixed the sagging kitchen counter, installed a fan in the nursery and some other little things.

But I have to say that my very favorite moment this week was Friday night. Mike took me out on a much needed date. We had a leisurely dinner, walked around outside for a while and then went to see Alice in Wonderland. Then we walked back to the restaurant, got dessert to go and ate it at home in our PJs. It was a night that I know I will look back at and smile when we are spending all of our time getting to know our daughter.

Movement: I'm starting to get better at figuring out how she is situated and what part of her is moving. It's really fun now that she is getting so big!

Gender: Girl!

Birthing Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Still none on the belly.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Ice cream and avocados are on the good list. The red meat aversion is slowly going away, I think.

What I am looking forward to: Mike's work shower in two weeks and my baby shower at the end of the month!

What I miss: Having one chin. :) ))

Weekly Wisdom: Every time I check something off of the To-Do Before Baby List, I feel more confident and more excited about her arrival.

Milestones: We finished up our birthing classes on Sunday. The "birth rehearsal" turned out to be really helpful. We walked through the different stages of birthing, practicing how long birthing waves will last and how far apart they will be. In each stage we practiced different positions that might be comfortable and there was a doula present with even more recommendations, like how to get things moving again if they slow down. We created a plan for leaving the house and traveling to the Birth Center and Mike learned about how to support me with counter pressure, masasge and relaxation cues. We also visualized the actual birth and practiced pushing positions. It was very empowering and fun. I am so excited for Birthday!

29 Weeks

2010-03-02T16:36:00.005-05:00

Maternity clothes? Full panel pants rock.

Sleep: I've been sleeping really well this week. It's been heavenly.

Best moment this week: In regard to the pregnancy, I feel really good that I got all of the baby's clothes and bedding washed. I know that we will be getting more before she gets here but I'm glad to know that a big portion of it is clean, folded and waiting for her arrival.

Movement: Her new trick is kicking my ribs. It feels great (not!) I can tell that she is really growing and getting stronger and that part is amazing.

Gender: Girl!

Birthing Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Still none on the belly.

Belly Button in or out? In but getting more shallow.

Cravings/Aversions: Loving fruits and sweets.

What I am looking forward to: This coming Sunday will be our final birthing class, and we are going to have a "birthing rehearsal." I'm not exactly sure what to expect, but I'm intrigued and will report back.

What I miss: Rationality. This week I have felt pretty hormonal. I can always recognize it for what it is, but that doesn't somehow make me feel much better in the moment.

Weekly Wisdom: It's all going to be worth it...it's all going to be worth it...it's all going to be worth it...

Milestones: Last week of the twenties?

28 Weeks

2010-02-22T11:40:00.009-05:00

Hello, third trimester!

Yeah, so I didn't blog for week 27 and really, I had tons of time. I just felt so drained last week for some reason. Mike was really sick two weeks ago, so I'm thinking that my body may have been fighting off whatever he had. Trust me, I'll take exhaustion over that nasty bug... So, anyway, I watched a lot of movies, hung out with Rosey, napped and made it out of the house a few times. And that about covers everything. :)

Maternity clothes? I got a nursing bra last week and it is my favorite article of clothing right now. I didn't want to buy a maternity bra that wouldn't be useful during breastfeeding, so I went ahead and got a really good, Bravado nursing bra and it's amazing. I'm really comfortable for the first time in months!

Sleep: I have been falling asleep pretty well when I first go to bed, but I am still staying awake in the middle of the night for quite a while after I go to the bathroom.

Best moment this week: We have had a really nice couple of weeks! We've seen a lot of friends and have also had some really nice evenings at home. But I guess in terms of the pregnancy, we have had a blast watching my belly move. You can see her movements from across the room now and when she's really active, it's hard for us not to just sit and watch my belly.

Movement: Getting stronger by the minute

Gender: Girl!

Birthing Signs: Thankfully, none. I have, however, had a few Braxton Hicks "pre-birthing waves"

Stretch Marks? Yep, but only on my b.oobs. Hopefully they will stop there, however, I will happily take them if it means our little one is thriving.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Not really.

What I am looking forward to: Spring time! It was in the 60's yesterday and I was in heaven. I can't wait for leaves on the trees, a warmness to the breeze and being closer to meeting Lydie.

What I miss: hand-eye coordination. I have been so clumsy throughout the past month that it's just plain ridiculous.

Weekly Wisdom: If you feel like you really need something to be more comfortable during your pregnancy, go out and just get it. I should never have waited so long on the new bra.

Milestones: THIRD TRIMESTER!

And just for fun, here's a little preview of what will be in the nursery. I'm going to wait to post pictures of it put together until it's finished, but here are some of the elements:

2010-02-10T15:13:00.003-05:00

I'm so grateful.

Every single day.

26 Weeks

2010-02-10T14:38:00.006-05:00

Maternity clothes? Yah.

Sleep: Still pretty good this week. I've noticed that I get hot really easily though so I find myself peeling the covers off frequently.

Best moment this week: We are loving our birthing class and it didn't disappoint this week. Under self hypnosis, I had an awesome experience with managing discomfort. It gave me a lot of confidence that this is a great technique for us. I feel like we have a lot left to learn before the final exam in May, but I'm pumped up about it.

Movement: I'm starting to feel her roll around instead of just feeling quick kicks. Sometimes when I press lightly on an area where she is moving, I can feel her push back against my hand. It melts me.

Gender: Girl!

Birthing Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Not yet.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: I've been wanting fresh, raw veggies all the time. And ice cream. At least there's a balance. :)

What I am looking forward to: Painting the nursery this weekend. We're only painting one wall, but it will still be fun!

What I miss: Being able to get off the sofa without it feeling like a struggle.

Weekly Wisdom: Just when you can't believe how big your belly is, it gets bigger. :)

Milestones: I have been pregnant for HALF OF A YEAR! That is a total mind blow.

25 Weeks

2010-02-04T16:23:00.006-05:00

Maternity clothes? We are going shopping this weekend for the full panel maternity pants that I mentioned last week. The elastic waisted ones really just aren't cutting it, and if I put lotion on after I get out of the shower, it takes me 5 minutes to pull them up. Yes, the time has come for bigger clothes.

Sleep: This past week was actually pretty decent. I still wake up a lot but I've had an easier time falling back asleep. I think my new configuration of pillows is helping. Two under my head and upper body and one between my knees.

Best moment this week: On Sunday, we took Rosey on a walk around our snowy neighborhood. The sun was shining and glimmering off the snow and many of our neighbors were out and about. As we walked and watched families zip past us on sleds, we talked about how much fun we were going to have with Lydia in the coming years. It was just one of those times you know you will remember forever.

We also played a really fun game of Monopoly while we were snowed in. I forgot how much fun that game is... even though I got schooled by my hubby. (Rent is $1400 when you have 3 houses on Boardwalk-- it's the equivalent of Monopoly Check Mate. It just takes 3 hours longer to wither away.)

Movement: Oh. My. Goodness. I had no idea that unborn babies could practice martial arts. There are times that it's shocking to me. (And I absolutely love it.)

Gender: We are starting two savings accounts with our tax refund. A college savings account. And a wedding savings account.

Birthing Signs: Thankfully, none.

You'll notice here that I have changed the question from "Labor Signs" to "Birthing Signs." This is because when you practice Hypnobabies, you avoid using certain words that are commonly associated with birthing because of their potentially negative subconscious associations. So, from now on, you'll hear me say birthing instead of labor, pressure wave instead of contraction, discomfort instead of pain, and I'll ask you to save any negative birthing stories for after Lydia is here. This aspect of Hypnobabies is simply about creating positive thoughts leading up to her birth day and releasing fear and tension.

I absolutely realize and respect that this isn't for everyone, but Mike and I are all about it and would love your support as the big day approaches.

Stretch Marks? Not yet. Yet being the operative word.

Belly Button in or out? In. But, I'm telling you, people, it's on its way out.

Cravings/Aversions: Brownies. Blueberries. Cereal. Soup. Good.

Red meat. Yogurt. Bad.

What I am looking forward to: Holding my precious baby in my arms and kissing her little cheeks. The reality of her arrival is really starting to sink in and I AM SOOOO EXCITED!

What I miss: I miss bodily comfort at the end of a long day. Hell, I miss it at the end of an easy day at this point. My lower back is definitely feeling the effects of carrying this baby.

Weekly Wisdom: Take it easy and put your feet up at the end of the day.

Milestones: We finished cleaning out and reorganizing our house to set up the nursery and it feels so, so good. I can literally feel my sanity returning. When my stuff isn't organized, it makes my brain feel disorganized too and that makes it hard for me to get anything else done. Hooray for the snow storm induced motivation!

24 Weeks!

2010-01-26T11:20:00.007-05:00

Maternity clothes? I refuse to answer this.

Sleep: Not so great anymore. I wake up between 4 and 5 every morning and can't go back to sleep for hours. Then I feel like I need to sleep in to make up for it. I mean, I should sleep as much as possible while I still can, right?! So, I've kissed my carefully designed schedule good-bye. See you again in a few years!

Best moment this week: Hearing her heartbeat at our appointment was as wonderful as ever.

Movement: Very active. Especially during my hypnobabies practice and in the morning. However, we went to Mike's parents' house this past weekend and she was quiet every time I'd try to let her Lolly (Mike's mom) feel her kick. Maybe she's shy like her Daddy. Hmm, or stubborn like her Mommy... one or the other. :)

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Not yet.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Not so much.

What I am looking forward to: Putting together Lydia's dresser and bookshelves that we got at Ikea over the weekend. Also excited because we picked out a paint color for her room and are making great progress!

What I miss: Sleeping through the night!

Weekly Wisdom: Check Craigslist for baby stuff before you go out and buy retail. We got a jogging stroller that is in perfect condition for about half price. We feel like we got an awesome deal on something that was on the top of our wishlist! YEAH!

Milestones: Viability! Now, I hope my baby stays cozy for several more months, but it's comforting to know that there is at least a chance that she could pull through if she was born today.

We also started our Hypnobabies Birthing Classes. We had a great time and learned a lot at our fist session on Sunday. I'm sure there will be a post about this technique as I learn more about it...

23 Weeks

2010-01-18T16:37:00.004-05:00

Maternity clothes? I think that I will soon be moving up to full panel maternity pants. Until now, I have just been using the kind with an elastic waist but I'm starting to have trouble getting them to stay in the right place. At least I can use them again right after Lydia arrives, before I can squeeze back into my pre-preggo clothes.

Sleep: Ugh. This week, I have tossed and turned all night. I just can't seem to get into a position that is comfortable for the belly, neck, arms, legs, br.easts, etc... I was told that this time was coming, and I think it has arrived... only to get worse, I'm sure. At least that means we are getting closer to our due date.

Best moment this week: We had a lot of cozy family time over this three day weekend and that's been great.

Movement: Aside from one quiet day that started to really freak me out, she has been her usual, active self. Two of my friends even got to feel some kicks this week, which I thought was so fun!

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Not yet.

Belly Button in or out? In. But, I should note that the bottom hole of the scar from my belly button ring used to be deep and unseen. Now I can see it when I look in the mirror so I guess that means that it's on its way out. Hahaha. It will crack me up if it pops out!

Cravings/Aversions: This week I had a major craving for brownies. Also, drumstick ice cream bars. So, basically sweets.

What I am looking forward to: We're going to Ikea this coming weekend to get some things for the nursery. I'm not exactly sure what we'll find, but we are both excited about the trip.

I'm also very excited to start birthing classes next Sunday and for my midwife appt on Wednesday.

What I miss: I miss having a regular schedule. On days that I am productive, I think being home is great but when I'm not feeling good or decide to be lazy for a day, it makes me feel like crap. I'm sure I will have more of a sense of purpose when the baby comes, but some days I feel like I'm floundering a little.

Weekly Wisdom: The more active I am, the better I feel at the end of the day, emotionally and physically.

Milestones: I can't really think of any pregnancy milestones, but I am very happy to report that I have had a surge of energy. I've been taking really long walks and doing a yoga dvd this week and it has been GREAT.

Also, we finally got the nursery completely cleaned out. Now it really feels like my baby's room and I love it! Once we have made some progress with it, I'll post pictures, but it will probably be a while...

22 Weeks

2010-01-10T13:52:00.006-05:00

I realized last week that I look exhausted in most of my weekly belly shots because I always take them at the end of the day. And since I am totally worn out by 5pm most days, I decided that I should try to get my picture at the start of the day instead. So, voila! It's not exactly a glamour shot but I think it represents the way I go out into the world a little more accurately...

Maternity clothes? See above photo.

Sleep: It's been phenomenal this week. It helps that we got new curtains for our bedroom that completely block out the streetlight nearby.

Best moment this week: On Saturday night, we went on a date to see the Symphony. The musicians were incredible and we enjoyed the show more than I can tell you. The best part, however, was during Mozart's Symphony No. 40, Lydia kicked and rolled and flipped every time that the strings were playing really furiously. It was making me laugh really hard, which was kind of awkward since we, of course, were sitting at the symphony.

Movement: She has been a wild one this week. I feel high kicks and low kicks and kicks in the middle of my belly. It's amazing how much stronger they are getting!

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Not yet but the itching has commenced. Oh my gosh, my belly is itchy all the time, even right after I put lotion on! Mike has been rubbing Burt's Bees, "Mama Bee Belly Ointment" on my belly every night since about week 15, so hopefully that will help ward off stretch marks. Fingers crossed!

Belly Button in or out? In. But the skin around it is definitely starting to firm up...

Cravings/Aversions: Still not wanting red meat. LOVING veggie burgers, blueberries and bananas.

What I am looking forward to: I am ready to have the baby's room cleaned out completely! We've made considerable progress but there's still a ways to go before everything that belonged there has a new home.

Also, I got to spend some time with Holly and baby Lawson this week, which made me about a thousand times more excited for May to get here. I just can't wait to see what my babygirl looks like and find out what kind of personality she has.

What I miss: I miss guilt free eating for one.

Weekly Wisdom: Just roll with the punches. Pregnancy symptoms are the craziest thing I've ever experienced.

Milestones: Well, let me just tell you, it has been quite a week. My vision has become slightly blurry courtesy of the pregnancy hormones, which I hear is normal but is not too fun since I don't have great eye sight to begin with.

warning: the following is very probably too much information... so consider yourself warned if you choose to continue...

I also started to leak colostrum this week, which I've got to tell you, kind of freaked me out. I had no idea that could start so soon! I just hope that means that I'll have no trouble producing all the milk that Lydie will need. All in all, however crazy these things seem at first, I think I've been very lucky so far with this pregnancy, and I'd be thrilled to simply continue experiencing all the normal albeit wacky pregnancy side effects. :)

21 Weeks

2010-01-03T15:22:00.012-05:00

I had good intentions of blogging during the holidays but that obviously didn't happen. We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years and I feel like the past two weeks just vaporized! I can't believe I'm already 21 weeks!

Maternity clothes? Oh yes.

Sleep: It's been pretty good. My belly is big enough now that I don't accidentally roll over on it anymore and that has been a good change.

Best moment this week: On December 23rd, Mike felt her kick for the first time and that was awesome. Since then he has felt her a few more times as her movements get stronger and more frequent.

Movement: She has busy days and lazy days but I am feeling her a lot now. Last night I couldn't fall asleep because she was squirming around so much. At our ultrasound, she was head up, and I think that she still probably is because sometimes it feels like she is doing jumping jacks on my pelvic floor.

Gender: Team Pink

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Not yet.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Red meat and I still have a complicated relationship but that's the only thing I'm still having issues with. I'm not really craving anything in particular, just craving a lot MORE than usual. Almonds and chocolate milk always sound yummy!

What I am looking forward to: I'm starting to get excited about being able to feel her little body in my belly as she gets bigger and her parts become more distinct from the outside. I'm also looking forward to making some progress on her nursery. Right now it looks like a bomb went off in it as we sort through things that people have passed down to us, the few things we have bought, and the rest of the junk that used to belong in that room. Yesterday we got rid of the sofa that was in there and that helped a lot! Next project: clean out the closet.

What I miss: Not having to pee 25 times a day!

Weekly Wisdom: A good friend of mine called me last week and told me to enjoy these weeks as much as possible because once you get big, it gets a lot more uncomfortable. I'm trying to employ that advice and be grateful for a lack of morning sickness and general comfort during the second trimester.

Milestones: Being more than HALFWAY THERE! WooHoo!

19 Weeks!

2009-12-21T17:41:00.007-05:00

Maternity clothes? Let's just put it this way, when I bought my first round of maternity clothes, I got a few things that were too big knowing that I would enjoy them later in the pregnancy. They fit perfectly now.

Sleep: Mmm, pretty good. I have to get up to pee a lot though.

Best moment this week: Mike and I are in the middle of reading Marley and Me together, and every night we each read one chapter out loud. On Saturday night, while he read, I placed my hand on his belly so that Lydia could feel the vibration of his voice. She had been pretty quiet that night until he started reading. She kicked and wiggled the whole time. I think she's going to be a Daddy's Girl.

Movement: Oh yes. She can be an active little thing. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for a wild child.

Gender: baby girl

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? Not yet.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: I have to say that I seem to be leveling out in this arena. I don't feel nearly as picky as I used to.

However, we made French Toast on Sunday morning and it's pretty much all I think about now. Mmmm....

What I am looking forward to: Christmastime! I am excited to spend time with family and friends this week. Then, Mike is taking next week off from work and I am SO excited to spend a long, lazy vacation with him. Yay!

Weekly Wisdom: Take time to bond with your baby during your pregnancy. I totally think that the baby can feel the energy and love.

Milestones: I got my first "stranger comment" this week at the mall. Now, I grant you, I was shopping at a maternity store so it was a safer assumption than most situations provide, but STILL! I was so excited. I'm glad that I'm officially looking pregnant.

18 Weeks

2009-12-14T19:09:00.009-05:00

Maternity clothes? Oh, yeah. I am definitely out of all normal clothes, and I'm getting to the point where even my bigger pre-pregnancy clothes are too short in the belly area.

Sleep: Great this week, overall. Occasionally, though, I wake up on my belly and it's very uncomfortable.

Best moment this week: That's easy! Our ultrasound appointment was incredible! Seeing the baby move around, hearing that everything looked normal and finding out that we are going to have a daughter was like every Christmas ever, wrapped up into one 30 minute appointment. We have been on cloud 9 all week!

Movement: She's been moving around a lot this week and I can tell that the movements are getting stronger and more frequent. I usually feel her about 5 times a day or so, and often it's right after I eat something. She must enjoy eating like her mommy does. :)

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? No, ma’am. But, let's take a moment to talk about cellulite. I've had cellulite, especially when I was a little heavier, but NEVER like this before. Good grief.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: I've been loving chocolate milk, fruit and potatoes. Red meat is still a little iffy although I think I'm slowly coming around to it. I actually ate a hamburger in Florida last week on a whim, so I guess you could say it comes and goes as an aversion.

And, I'd like to add that I actually cooked dinner, a real dinner, tonight for the first time since I got pregnant. It used to make me so sick to prepare food, and I guess it's getting better! Woohoo!

What I am looking forward to: Meeting my daughter in the spring. I am dreaming of her little face and I'm just exploding with love. I can't believe how much more attached I feel now that we know what we are having and have seen pictures. Oh my gosh, I love her so much already.

Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy every moment you can of pregnancy. I love every little movement I feel and I can't believe how much more fun pregnancy has gotten in the last few weeks. Hopefully, it will continue to be...

Milestones: I picked out a birthing class and signed up to begin in January! We are going with Hypnobabies... anyone out there taken those classes before?

And of course, the "big ultrasound" and naming our daughter...

Lydia Lane

It's been a huge week for our little family and we're just tickled pink!

So much for neutral...

2009-12-11T19:48:00.002-05:00

Umm... it's really, really, really, really fun to buy baby clothes.

Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice!

2009-12-08T17:35:00.006-05:00

Well, we had our ultrasound this morning and everything looks healthy and normal!

And we are thrilled to announce that we are having a little girl!!

I don't have the right words to express how I feel right now, so I'll just say that we are over the moon happy...

17 Weeks

2009-12-07T12:34:00.004-05:00

Maternity clothes? Ha. Yes.

Sleep: Last Tuesday I came down with a head and chest cold that has been pretty nasty. That's kept me from gettting great sleep.

Best moment this week: Another week with a lot of great moments! Seeing Hunter and Becky get married and hearing that baby Lawson is here and doing well were probably the best ones! Pregnancy wise, it was really fun to see old friends and share our news!

Movement: lots of little flutters and bubbles this week, especially on the flight down the Florida...

Gender: I'll get back to you tomorrow on that one! Today's your last chance to weigh in, so vote on the right if you haven't already :)

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? No, ma’am.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing too crazy this week.

What I miss: Well this week I really missed being able to take a decongestant for my cold. Tylenol helped a little bit with the minor aches but it would not have been my drug of choice if I was without child.

What I am looking forward to: I am so excited about our ultrasound tomorrow. I have a lot of nervous energy too though. Since this will be our first ultrasound, I just want to hear that everything is looking good with our little bean.

Weekly Wisdom: Well last week I said to sew some oats and I ended up sick, so I'm not sure that my advice is worth much. :)

Milestones: Baby's first flights? First wedding? Not sure those really count...

Hunter and Becky's Wedding Weekend!

2009-12-07T10:33:00.007-05:00

We had an incredible vacation to Florida and a great time at Becky and Hunter's wedding. Here are some random pictures from the weekend. I didn't get many of the bride and groom together, so I guess we'll have to wait for the official wedding pics for those...

Turkey Day 09

2009-11-30T17:39:00.006-05:00

Mike and I enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving at my sister's house this year. It was about 65 degrees, sunny, and breezy: an easy day to be grateful for the numerous blessings in our lives.

The beautiful table

Carving the Bird

Auntie/Niecey

Three Thanksgiving Hams

The lace tablecloth handmade by our Grandmother, Hazel.

The Classic Shot:

2007

2008

2009

I wonder how old she'll be before she refuses to pose for this? :)

16 Weeks

2009-11-30T16:49:00.004-05:00

Maternity clothes? Yep.

Sleep: I've been sleeping alright but I've gotten less because we have been so busy with Thanksgiving, traveling, and preparing for Florida.

Best moment this week: Hmm... there were a lot of good ones! Thanksgiving was really nice, two nights of Widespread Panic were awesome, and scheduling our ultrasound was really fun. Hearing the baby's heartbeat again definitely trumps everything else. It's just magic.

Movement: I have been having little flutters here and there but no obvious kicks or anything. The midwife said she could tell that the baby was really active through the Doppler and that it's definitely possible that I've been feeling it. That gave me a little more confidence that the little bubbles and flutters might actually be movement, especially if there's an active little one in there. :)

Gender: We find out next Tuesday, December 8th at 11:00am. Woohoo!

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? No, ma’am.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: I'm still loving fruit. I ate a fried pickle chip in Charleston that pretty much rocked my world. I'd love to get my hands on some more but I wouldn't even know where to start looking...

Red meat is still on the no-go list.

What I miss: Going to concerts and not feeling completely worn out the next day. I'll tell you what, two nights of panic is WAY harder preggo than it was beforehand. It may be the last show we go to before babymac is here, so we tried to enjoy it a little extra. Don't hold me to that though, if I'm feeling good when spring tour rolls around, watch out, mama might be shaking her booty...

What I am looking forward to: Seeing family and old friends in Florida and celebrating my brother's wedding, getting a new sister-in-law, and, you know, counting down every second until next Tuesday!

Weekly Wisdom: Sew a few oats before the baby comes. I have no idea what to expect, but I have a feeling life is about to become a little bit more challenging. Richer and definitely more challenging.

Milestones: Hearing the heartbeat again and scheduling the ultrasound.

Also, the baby can hear now apparently, so I'll count these as the first shows he/she could "enjoy."

p.s. If our child is scared of loud noises when he/she gets here, we'll all know why. :)

Pregnancy Quiz

2009-11-24T11:30:00.006-05:00

How far along? 15 weeks

Note about this picture: the dog is begging for attention because we are doing something that doesn’t involve her. Do you think her world is going to be a little bit rocked next May?

Maternity clothes? Affirmative. My biggest issue right now is that I don’t have all that many maternity clothes yet so I have to do laundry all the time. I’m going to have to go shopping soon… Also, I have no clue what I’ll be wearing in Florida since all my maternity clothes are for fall/winter. I’m sure I can figure something out since it’s only for a few days and I’m not too big yet.

Sleep: Not so great this week. I just wake up a lot and am finding myself not wanting to be on my stomach for longer than a few minutes.

Best moment this week: Having dinner with Holly and Caleb and getting to visit before their little man makes his appearance any old time now.

Also, I’ve finally gotten to the point where I don’t care if I look pregnant or fat or whatever. I’ve stopped worrying about hiding the pooch, and I’m just letting it all hang out. :)

Movement: I don’t think so.

Gender: No clue. But, I’m very excited because we finally decided on a boy’s name this week. Now we are prepared for either…in terms of names, anyway.

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? No, ma’am.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: Still craving fruit this week. And smoothies. Oh, and Chick-Fil-A. Red meat is still on the aversion list. Also, I walked by a house that was using Tide and am quite certain that I’ll never use it again. (You ask how I knew from the street? I now have a bionic sense of smell…) Before I got pregnant, I bought a box and thought it smelled SO good, but since about week 7 the smell has made me want to vomit. If anyone in the area wants half a box, there is one sitting in our shed that I would love to give to you.

What I miss: My skinny jeans and sunless tanning lotion. I’m going to be looking pretty white in Florida.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my brother and Becky next week and showing off my belly to them for the first time.

Weekly Wisdom: Take pregnancy one day at a time.

Milestones: We schedule our big ultrasound on Wednesday. Let the countdown begin…

Pregnancy Quiz

2009-11-17T15:39:00.010-05:00

How far along? 14 weeks

Maternity clothes? Yep. Definitely need the pants but my shirts are still fitting for the most part. A little tight in the bust area but they still work. I really just prefer maternity clothes at this point though. They are way more comfortable and it isn't on my agenda to wear tight clothes.

Sleep: I have never slept this well in my life. I am averaging 12 hours a night, but I always have to get up to pee at least once.

Best moment this week: Telling my grandparents this past weekend. Needless to say, they are very excited. :)

Movement: Not yet. Occasionally when I am laying very still, I feel a little fluttery feeling in my lower abdomen but I am not really sure it's actually movement. I think it's probably too early to be feeling anything so who knows...

Gender: No idea. We go back and forth with guessing. Before we were pregnant, I always envisioned us having a girl first, but now I have no clue. We'd be thrilled with either!

Labor Signs: Thankfully, none.

Stretch Marks? No but I'm already fearing for my breasts. They are so much bigger...already. God, help me.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Cravings/Aversions: This week I have really been wanting fruit. Apples and watermelon mostly. The thought of red meat makes me gag. That's a huge change because all I wanted during the first trimester was MEAT. I dreamt about bacon. I wanted steak for dinner...every night. Now, I can't stand it. I also really craved greasy food for the first 10 or so weeks, especially egg and cheese biscuits, because it soothed my nausea. Thankfully, those cravings have passed and I have never enjoyed fruit and veggies like I have been during the past couple of weeks. It's wonderful to crave something healthy.

I read a quote about cravings this week that said, "it's like there is someone inside of you ordering from their own menu." That is the best way I have ever heard it explained...it's so bizarre to randomly want something you never usually eat.

What I miss: Caffeine and cooking. Preparing food makes me feel sick these days. I have no idea why but it's really inconvenient.

What I am looking forward to: My appointment next week. I can't wait to hear the little heartbeat and schedule our ultrasound!

Weekly Wisdom: Hmm... having a bridesmaids dress expanded is a lot harder than having one taken in. :) I'm in my brother's wedding in early December and have had the dress since June. Let's just say I was a little lighter when the dress was ordered.

Milestones: Getting our crib! I ordered it thinking it would take 4 to 6 weeks to arrive and that we would put it together after the holidays, but it came within a week and we put it together last night. It's so fun/crazy to have a crib in the house. I can't wait until it's occupied.

Weekend Getaway

2009-11-10T14:55:00.005-05:00

This past weekend, Mike and I traveled to the mountains for Gus and Melinda's wedding. On Friday, we spent the afternoon walking around downtown Asheville, checked into our hotel and went out for a great dinner. We had a wonderful room with a fireplace, which was really cozy during the chilly weekend.

The wedding took place on the property where everyone was staying, so the next morning at breakfast, I was introduced to all of Mike's fraternity brothers from college and their wives and girlfriends. They are all lots of fun and it was hilarious to see Mike in action with all of his old buddies.

The wedding was gorgeous and took place on Saturday afternoon. It was about 65 degrees and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The ceremony overlooked a beautiful lake and the reception was nearby in one of the Great Halls at the resort.

Here are some pictures from the weekend...

First Trimester Re-Cap

2009-11-05T15:52:00.002-05:00

I can't believe that I am less than one week away from my second trimester! Since I didn't blog throughout the first 11 weeks, I thought I'd fill y'all in about what's been going on.

On September 5th, we took a home pregnancy test and it was positive. The test line came up before the control line did, and we were shocked at how strong the result was at 3 weeks 4 days. I took a digital test next, just to be sure, and it came up pregnant right away. We were really, really excited, but we also wanted to be cautious since it was so early on.

The next week was great. I felt wonderful. We were ecstatic. Life was good.

Then sometime around week 6, morning sickness reared its ugly head. Oh. My. God. Before I actually felt sick, I had kind of been wishing for a little nausea as an extra confirmation that everything was progressing well. Boy did I eat those words--and then throw them up...

I honestly thought that once I got pregnant, I wouldn't mind being sick at all. I just thought it would all be so romantic. "Sure, I don't feel great, but I'm sooo happy I'm pregnant." HA. Don't get me wrong, I have always been extrememly grateful for this pregnancy and, even at my worst, I wouldn't have traded it for the world. BUT, the first trimester can be hard. Really, really hard.

Around week 8, we took a tour of The Birth Center where we plan to have the baby. Although I have always received my routine care from the midwives, you have to take an official tour and hear all about the facility before you can register as a maternity patient. It was really cool to see the birthing rooms and imagine being there in the spring. :)

So, anyway, the worst of the morning sickness let up around week 10, and since then I have just had some nausea from time to time. For example, one day in my 10th week, I decided I would make myself something for lunch. When I opened the fridge, I was met with the smell of leftover garlic chicken and I promptly threw up in the sink on a pile of dishes. Then I called Mike and told him that he would have to clean out the fridge after work because I was unable to open it. It was just great, let me tell you.

Which brings me to my next point. Having a good partner throughout pregnancy is crucial. I seriously do not know how I would have survived thus far without him. My hat is off to all single mamas- you are braver and stronger than I am. Mike has basically done all the housework, cooked all the meals, done all the dishes (except the ones I puked on--don't worry, I did those myself) and been an angel. I'll just say it again... I don't think I could be doing this without him.

For anyone out there planning a pregnancy or in the middle of morning sickness hell, here are my two cents of advice. Unisom and Acupuncture. They will save your life.

So finally 11 weeks rolled around and we had our first appointment. Because we are going to midwives rather than a doctor, the first visit is scheduled much later than "usual." It was kind of hard to wait so long but we love the midwives and are happy to have a regular routine with them now. My next appointment is on November 25th.

So far, my 12th week has been great. I have more energy and keep feeling better and better. We are going to the mountains for a wedding this weekend, so I hope this trend continues...

Thanks to everyone for all of the love and support as we begin to share our news with the world!

I haven't been completely honest with you...

2009-11-01T14:45:00.002-05:00

It has been a really busy fall as I finished up school, but the main reason that I haven't been blogging is because I'm pregnant! We are very excited to announce that we are expecting our little one on May 16th of next year!

Although I think I have finally turned the corner with morning sickness, it has been a tough first trimester and aside from school and work, we have basically been doing NOTHING but sitting on the sofa and praying for time to pass quickly.

This past Thursday, I had the first appointment with my midwife. Although the blood work, shots, and pelvic exam were less than thrilling, nothing is better in the whole world than hearing your baby's sweet heartbeat for the first time. We are so in love already and are looking forward to sharing our journey with you. Any thoughts, prayers, and wishes for the health and development of our little baby are greatly appreciated! :)

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-01T14:36:00.002-05:00

This year we celebrated Halloween at home. We were prepared for a busy night because last year was insane, but this year was a little more laid back, with somewhere around 100 or 150 trick-or-treaters. Instead of answering the door all night, we set up chairs in the driveway and enjoyed a warm fall evening with my sister, Mike's grammy and his parents. Riley and Henry were busy doing their own trick-or-treating (with Joe) but we got lots of reports about what was going on out in the rest of the hood...

Everyone came over earlier in the afternoon so that we could have dinner together and get ready for the evening. Deb gave Riley some spooky witch make-up...

Our camp at the top of the driveway

a witch, Joe, and the grim reaper set off to trick-or-treat

Our jack-o-lanterns

Mike carved Mr. Yuck and I carved the ship (go Pirates!)

Missy, are you proud?

Deb was our adult representative for Halloween spirit. Isn't she a great witch?! It scared Rosey to death when she first got to our house :)

I have to say that even though there were fewer kids in the neighborhood this year, we had some of the funniest kids ever come to our house last night. Mike handed one kid a big handful of candy because it was getting late and we didn't want a bunch of leftovers sitting around. The kid looked up and said, "that dude is awesome," then looked back at Mike and said, "I bet you like to hear that, don't you?" Hilarious. We are still laughing about it.

It was a great Halloween here. I hope everyone enjoyed their night as much as we did.

Hi, I'm Hillary. Remember me?

2009-10-29T09:24:00.007-04:00

Umm....yeah. It's been a loooooong time. However, I graduated yesterday, and I am now going to actually start blogging again. Sorry for the silence...

It was a bittersweet day saying goodbye to all of my classmates and teachers, but it was a wonderful way to close the program. I feel a real sense of completion having shared the day with this amazing community of people.

Just hanging out before the private ceremony

Our sacred bundle at closing circle

Receiving my diploma from KimLien at the public ceremony

View from the back porch of the school-house. I will really miss this place.

Deb, Mike, me and Mac

Some of my favorite people in the world

This experience has changed me in so many ways. I will carry this time and all of these people with me for the rest of my life.

The Beach!

2009-07-20T08:09:00.003-04:00

2009-07-19T18:18:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th!

2009-07-07T22:04:00.003-04:00

Rest In Peace, MJ

2009-06-27T22:36:00.009-04:00

I remember, from when I was very small, my brother dancing around our living room and singing along with his Michael Jackson tapes. In the way that John Lennon's Imagine was a gateway into my love of rock and roll in my tween years, Michael Jackson's music was my first taste of soul. Whether you are a fan of his music or not, his massive impression on the music industry, and the music-television industry for that matter, is noteworthy.

And now as we look back on his footprint, his incredible talent is eclipsed by his tragic and misunderstood personal life. Perhaps, as a celebrity, judgment and criticism are simply an occupational hazard, but I can't help wondering why. WHY?!

In truth, I don't know too much about what happened inside Michael Jackson that brought forth such unusual characteristics. One could speculate that the abuse he suffered as a child or his workload from a young age contributed. Maybe his surreal stardom and wealth (at one point anyway) created a disconnect from reality. Or maybe that Pepsi commercial incident was really the straw that broke the camel's back. The thing is, lots of people have been through similar traumas and pulled through in more conventional ways.

We'll never have the answers to these questions.

And I don't care about the specifics really. All we really need to know is that he was, in some way, broken, hurt. So, why then do we harp on his personal life so much that it overshadows his brilliance?

You may think that as a celebrity, as aforementioned, that it was part of his job to be judged, but I don't. Sure, if you are a public figure, aspects of your personal life will leak into the media. But what if the media stopped the shit-show and gave us the facts, with a side of compassion?

Michael Jackson had a horribly challenging childhood, coupled with nearly unprecedented success in his career. He had an auto-immune disease that left him discolored and an addiction to self mutilation that he fed via plastic surgery. He was addicted to prescription drugs. He was eccentric to the high heavens and I suspect he had a huge heart that was full of love and tenderness.

He had seemingly terrible boundaries with children. And that part I do not take lightly, but it all boils down to a broken soul, I think. And though I would never let any child I know within a hundred miles of Neverland Ranch, I don't see why as a nation, from the safety and comfort of our homes, we can't just find some unconditional positive regard for the difficult road he traveled.

What's our pay off? I mean, I understand that someone is getting rich from it, but what are WE, media consumers and members of the human race, getting out of it?

Had we celebrated his talents rather than shaming him into seclusion, would he still be with us? And would he be a healthier version of the Michael we knew recently? I can't imagine that a spoonful of compassion would have hurt anything.

I think this situation is a beautiful reminder to appreciate the people around us that challenge our understanding most. It's not to say that clear boundaries aren't imperative, but it is to suggest that appreciating the beauty in people might be a more constructive activity than tearing them down.

Honeymooning

2009-06-27T20:50:00.009-04:00

We spent last Sunday visiting with family that traveled to celebrate with us. Then on Tuesday we headed to the beach.

We stayed at the cutest place that is right on the water and operates at our pace. Here is a picture from our balcony at high tide. Heaven.

Those of you who know us well can attest to how silly we can be. You should see us on vacation with nothing to do for a week. We have SO MUCH FUN together.

Seriously, what kind of pictures are these? SO SILLY.

My tough husband with a pirate.

The most glorious sunset with the tackiest landscape possible...

There were so many dolphins! Look towards the center of the picture. (Sorry, this was the best we could capture...)

We saw them all week and they were so beautiful and graceful. However, I discovered that they seem less cute and more scary when you see their fins 25 feet away while swimming in the ocean.

FAIL.

One evening we went out for a really nice dinner and were given the perfect table, overlooking the marsh.

I feel incredibly blessed to be married to this man. He is my best friend and I will never find the

right words to express what he means to me.

I am full of joy and peace as we begin our married life together.

A Few More

2009-06-27T16:45:00.007-04:00

Our amazing photographer, Lindsey Turner, made a slideshow as a "sneak peak" of our pictures. Check it out at http://www.lindseyturnerweddings.com/MacKenzie/

Hitched!

2009-06-22T15:17:00.008-04:00

We did it!

We got married on Friday 6.19 and had the reception on Saturday evening at the Mac's house. I took no pictures all weekend, but I will post as I receive them from the photographer and from our friends.

Thank you to everyone that celebrated with us! We had an incredible weekend and feel so grateful to have been surrounded by so many of our family members and friends.

P.S. If you have any pictures from the party, I would love to blog them. :)

smile!

2009-04-14T22:20:00.008-04:00

This past weekend we visited with Mike's family. It was extra fun because his sister and her family were able to come in to town too. We haven't seen Eli in a more than a month and it is amazing how quickly he changes.

Uncle Mike is sooo funny!

On Easter morning, we woke up and had a huge breakfast together, spent time visiting and then had an Egg Hunt! At the beginning of the game, Lance and Grammy were assigned the garage door to exit through.

Mike and Missy had the back door. Mac and I went out the front door.

Everybody Go!

When all of the eggs had been found, we reconvened in the living room...

Each egg was numbered and we took turns picking "prize bags" in order of the numbers that we had collected.

Some bags had REALLY good prizes...

Some bags had silly prizes...

And some bags had no prizes at all!

But there was a catch to the game. If your egg had a face on it, you were allowed to try and negotiate prize trades during your turn. And if you had a shiny egg, you could steal any prize that anyone already had during your turn!

It was a very funny, very fun game! The Easter Bunny sure is creative!

Later that night, Mike and I saw the Dead play. It was an amazing ending to a wonderful day.

Favorite Quote from School this Week

2009-04-09T08:12:00.002-04:00

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

-- by Margery Williams, from The Velveteen Rabbit --

Why, You Ask?

2009-03-29T21:08:00.003-04:00

The summer of 2007, as some of you will recall, was blazing hot and miserable. The drought that sucked the life force out of every living thing in North Carolina felt to me like an expression of the fiery hell that I was stuck inside. With the exception of my mother’s death, it was the lowest period of my life. In fact, it may have been worse, in the acute sense, because I did not find the same support network that I had crashed into when my mom died. I learned a bitter lesson about loyalty and I found out who is willing to walk through hell with me.

For those that have found themselves in similar situations, you know as I do now that fewer people will hold your hand through dark times than will when you are cruising down Easy Street. In all honesty, the friendships that were torn away from me that summer are what truly haunt me.

There was no question that I had to walk away from my marriage. At the moment I realized that truth, I sensed as the box containing my life started to turn upside down in slow motion. I knew that the results were going to be messy, but I had no idea that my life would continue to fall apart for months. And eventually, everything that I had meticulously placed inside that metaphorical box would wind up being shaken out into a giant tangled pile, totally unrecognizable from the illusion of the life that I thought I had been living. People, it was a painful and ugly truth.

I knew I had work to do and there wasn’t a moment to spare. God only knows how much money I spent in therapy in the subsequent months, but I would pay it again ten times over because it saved my life. I learned that in order to live authentically, I had to figure out how to be a conscious member of society. I had to learn how to accept others’ judgments and understand why some of my closest friends couldn’t look me in the face any longer. I had to quit drinking and making detrimental choices for my health across the board. And the hardest thing I had to do was find a way to forgive myself.

Enter massage therapy. My broken body found its way on to a massage table sometime in early autumn. I was bruised down to my core and while I laid there, tears poured out of me, soaking the cotton sheet under my face. As I tried to absorb strength and energy from the bodywork, a voice came over the gentle music that was playing, “Forgive yourself. It is okay to let go. Everyone is doing the best that they can in each moment.” You can’t make up stuff like this. It was exactly what I needed to hear in order to start moving forward instead of continuing to spiral downward.

I got into my car and noticed that the leather was hot on my skin and that my windshield was really dirty. I felt the tiniest seed of hope that perhaps there was a life on the other side of my pain. In that very instant I felt drawn to be a bodyworker, and although it took me a considerable amount of time to dance my way into school, I feel so blessed to be diving into this work. This is where I belong.

Amen.

A Love Note

2009-03-27T14:58:00.006-04:00

My sweet one, I'll call you my sweet one.

You're my only true sweet one.

With my all, I'll call you my sweet one.

From far away, I'll say your name.

Oh with you, I'd travel thick.

And with you,

I'd also travel thin.

And all the spaces in between,

I'd travel with you.

You're my sweet one.

Wild Geese

2009-03-27T10:29:00.003-04:00

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

-the one and only Mary Oliver

This is actually part of my curriculum. It is in a course notebook, on its own page for me to find, digest and appreciate. This poem is what my journey at this school and into this profession is all about.

3.4.09

2009-03-04T09:15:00.005-05:00

Ugh, I've been in a blogging funk recently. There have been plenty of nice happenings around here. We've had lots of visits with family and friends, gone on fun, blog-worthy dates, and we're planning on getting married in a few months, for pete's sake! You'd think that the words would be flowing freely these days.

But, I've felt particularly reflective in the past weeks. I think that it is partly because I've been anticipating massage therapy school for such a long time, and now I am on the edge of starting, I spend a lot of time thinking about the opportunity in front of me. How open can I be to let this experience mold me? How will I apply my new education to my every day life and how much will it change the way I see the world? Hugely? Not at all? Perhaps it doesn't matter, but I am ready to find out.

I've also been thinking about the journey that Mike and I are beginning together. What an incredibly magical time, the anticipation of becoming a family and laying the foundation for our future together. I don't take a single day that we have together for granted. I love him so deeply and so wholly that I sometimes feel like I am going to bust at the seams.

I used to think that you shouldn't take things for granted because if something bad were to happen, you would want to look back and be able to congratulate yourself on having enjoyed that day or person or ability while you could. What I have come to understand more recently is that it isn't about later at all. When something bad happens, it may be fine to think that you enjoyed yourself before, but tragedy is a great equalizer. Whether or not I am grateful for my ability to walk today isn't going to make it more pleasant if I lose my legs in three years. It is about TODAY. Did I dread taking Rosey on a walk or did I put on my coat and thank God for a beautiful day, time with my dog, and the ability to move and walk and be free?

I strive to live and to love the same way. Most days the gratefulness comes and goes. Some days I outright fail at being conscious and grateful. And I think that's okay. All we can do is keep trying, right?

So, you see, I have been trapped in my head, thinking about how I want to run my life and summoning the courage to try and actually do it. As I step off into a new education, a new career and, most importantly, a new family, I want to try and show up offering the best I've got.

Fun Day Out

2009-02-23T13:34:00.004-05:00

Saturday, we spent the day with Indi and had a blast, as usual.

We started the morning off with a little bit of bowling. With bumpers up, it turns out that I'm pretty decent. :)

After that, we went to the mall and burned a little bit of time before our movie. So, we had lunch at Subway and picked out some candy. I think Mike was actually more excited than Indi about picking out what he wanted.

Next, Indi taught us how to play Chinese jumprope in the courtyard. That game is no joke! It's really hard!

And then we went to see Coraline. It was not quite as good as I was hoping it would be, but we had a great time and that's what counts, I think. It was a good day with two of my favorite boys!

The First Half of February

2009-02-16T18:09:00.015-05:00

At the beginning of the month, upon our return from Virginia, we came home to a puddle in the hallway. A big puddle. I had no idea what had caused it, but I knew it was going to be expensive the minute I saw it.

I was right. The water heater was slowly leaking and as we investigated, we found a sticker that said it had been installed in October of 1988. At that moment we knew we would soon be the proud owners of a brand new one.

The next day, Mike's uncle Frank came to our house and installed it for us. He is an excellent handy man and runs his own biz, so if anyone out there needs any work done, let me know and I will give you his number.

There are several pieces of good news about this situation. Firstly, we got to thoroughly clean out the laundry closet and replace the flooring under the water heater. It was really grungy beforehand and looks much better now. Secondly, the old water heater was really loud and would clank and hum every time it was filling up. Our new one is silent. And finally, I suppose it is good for the property value to have a new appliance like a water heater. Hopefully it will run until 2028 since the last one made it twenty years. Here's hoping...

If that wasn't enough excitement for the month, last week we realized that something was wrong with the freezer. The ice cream was liquid and nothing seemed very cold. So, we called a plumber who said from the symptoms that he figured the compressor was broken and that it shouldn't be too huge of a repair.

Wrong. When he arrived he realized that the compressor was fine but that some kind of internal system had gotten backed up and that the whole refrigerator was basically totalled; it would be more trouble to try to fix than it was worth.

Are you kidding me? The refrigerator that we negotiated into the contract for the house just over a year ago?! And by this point, mind you, the refrigerator side was warming up too and all of our food was spoiled.

Oh well.

After many days of online browsing and in-store perusing, we found a great deal at HHGregg on this one:

It was delivered this morning and I must say that after several days without one, I was quite excited about its arrival. We especially like the french doors on top and freezer bottom.

The best part was going to the grocery store today, coming home and filling it up. Fresh food in an organized, new refrigerator is quite pleasing.

Speaking of food (and this is a really bad segue), I saw some baby piglets at my sister's farm last week. Aren't they adorable?

Yes, I think I'll pass on bacon for a while.

That little piggy face just gets me.

Confession: I had some really excellent Chicken Cordon Bleu this weekend and I thought not once about this picture.

Mike and I spent Saturday with Grammy Mac and had such a wonderful time. We arrived mid-day, went to Panera (of course) for lunch, just visited in the afternoon, and went to an Awesome restaurant for dinner (which is where the Chicken Cordon Bleu came in). The food was so good that it blew my mind. Seriously.

We went back to Grammys and played Apples to Apples for the rest of the evening. It was exactly how Valentine's Day should be: Full of Love and Fun. And to top it all off, the next morning Grammy made us pancakes for breakfast. (She spoils us). It was a great trip.

In other news, for those of you who have not yet heard, Mike and I are getting married in June! We are excited to share our plans and have been enjoying the process of figuring out exactly how we want to celebrate. I'm sure there will be much more to come on this subject, but I thought I'd make the official blog announcement. :)

And finally, we still have this little beast with us. Actually, he is a darling dog and we will miss him when he goes home later this week. He's added a lot of energy and fun to the house while he's been here.

Mocha Mac

2009-02-08T15:21:00.004-05:00

Dogs!

2009-02-05T20:59:00.004-05:00

We are dogsitting Mocha for three weeks. At first Rosey wasn't so sure about the situation....

But she's decided that maybe having a buddy around isn't such a bad thing....

Virginia!

2009-02-03T08:06:00.005-05:00

This past weekend, we travelled to Virginia to stay with some of Mike's best friends, Jeff and Tracy. This was the first time I had met them and we had a blast.

We arrived on Friday evening, settled in, ate a wonderful dinner at home and talked the evening away catching up/getting to know each other.

On Saturday we spent the morning playing with the kids. Mia is three and Joscelyn and Parker are almost one, and they are full of energy! We eventually got dressed and went a Children's Museum where there are all kinds of fun things to do.

Mike, Tracy and Parker

Jeff buying a Taco from Mia

Mia and Jossie giving each other a kiss

Mia picking apples. This was her favorite part of the day.

Later that evening, Mia's preschool teacher came over to babysit so that we could go out to dinner. We went to an awesome restaurant downtown and met up with John, another of Mike's buddies.

The trip was fantastic and we are all excited that we will see each other again in 4 weeks when we see Phish at Hampton. Yes!

Snow Day

2009-01-22T09:26:00.004-05:00

We went to bed on Monday night with high hopes of snow, and we were not disappointed. On Tuesday, Mike had to do a little bit of work from home, but we were able to play in the snow for a while first.

We started the morning off with blueberry pancakes. We leisurely sat around and watched snow fall in the backyard and created an action plan.

First, we got geared up:

Next we went sledding. There are some pretty decent hills in our neighborhood, which made for some speedy rides!

And then we built a snowman.

We think she's pretty cute.

Afterwards, we came in, cuddled up and watched the inauguration. What a beautiful morning together!

Babies!

2009-01-16T19:20:00.011-05:00

Meet Landon

He is the sweeeeeeetest thing. I have been privileged to visit with him twice since he was born and I am just totally in love. I cannot express how dear he his.

Casey also gave birth this week to baby Lucien! I have seen pictures of him and he is just precious. I will wait for Casey to put up pictures before I do... but he is a doll. I cannot wait to meet him.

Thank goodness for two healthy babies and two healthy mamas!! What an exciting week!!

Unemployed

2009-01-10T08:37:00.014-05:00

The company that I have been working for since 2006 has closed its doors so I was in the office very little this past week. And, as of Thursday, I am officially unemployed. Woah, it's kind of crazy.

The good news is that I have a plan. On March 2nd, I begin massage therapy school. It's an eight month program that is very much focused around holistic healing. It is on a gorgeous campus and I am very much looking forward to spending my days there. It's hard to believe at this time next year that I will be a licensed massage and bodywork therapist.

Last weekend, we merged the guest room and the office so that I can set up a massage room. I don't plan to practice out of our home professionally, but we agreed that it would be fun to have a place that I can give massages to friends and family, especially since I will need a lot of practice. :)

I am happy that our new guestroom feels cozier than the last one. I covered an old desk with some fabric, ended up framing some fabric above the headboard as some do-it-yourself artwork, painted the trim of the mirror white (it was green before) and brought in a few things in from other parts of the house. Now I feel like we actually have a place to put company.

I also tried to organize the shelves in our den this week. I found those three baskets for $20 and they inspired me to try to make the space a little more functional. Mike's Mom, Debbie, who I completely admire and try to channel at almost every opportunity I have, gave me the idea to cover books in white paper, so I did that as well. I am not sure that I am 100% satisfied with the final project, but it has lightened up the room and is WAY better than it was before.

Other than that, I have been catching up on other typical chores and errands and trying to get them done during the day so that Mike and I can just relax together at night. It's very satisfying

Rachael's due date is this week, so hopefully I will be posting some pictures of him very soon. Casey is also due this week! Please be thinking of their families and send loving thoughts of safe and quick deliveries for both mamas and baby boys. Thanks!

Happy Birthday Milo!

2009-01-04T16:47:00.006-05:00

On Saturday, my nephew Milo turned five. I have only been present at one birth ever, which was his, so every year when his birthday rolls around, I remember the special day I spent at the hospital with Ashlyn and the moment he was born. Amazing.

Anyway, his party was on Saturday afternoon, and the weather was gorgeous. It was sunny and somewhere in the 50s or 60s. We had a campfire and the kids ran around...

Ash building a fire:

Me and Indi (sweet mohawk, huh?!) ;)

The last picture of my nose ring:

Happy Birthday, Little Man. Nice job decorating the cake!

Group Shot:

Little Isabella. This child stole my heart:

Hakan and Indi taking a break to play Chess:

There you have it. Milo is five!

2008-12-28T17:29:00.013-05:00

Our Christmas festivities continued after returning home from my grandparents house, as we visited with my family in the area before leaving for Mike's parents house. We had a wonderful time hanging out with my sisters and their families and also spending holiday time with some of our friends.

We arrived on Tuesday afternoon to their beautifully decorated home...

That evening, Grammy Mac took Mike and I out to dinner and to see the movie Milk, which is intense and fantastic. After a wonderful night with her, we got home, played some cards and visited with Debbie and Mac.

When we woke up the next day, Mike felt sick, which was a big bummer. At the Macs, we were celebrating Christmas on Saturday so even though it was technically Christmas Eve, it was quiet around the house and there was plenty of time for relaxing and healing. The main thing we missed was dinner at Wiene and Phil's house, which we were going to come home for that night. We were very sad to miss it, but we're going to try and schedule a holiday dinner one night this week instead.

Thursday, Mike was still under the weather so we had another quiet day of watching movies, reading and lounging around. We did, however, decide to open a few presents that morning even though we weren't doing the main gift exchange until Saturday. Mike gave me the movie Grizzly Man, so we watched that with his parents and I was just thrilled! My loyal blog readers may remember me mentioning it before (I love it!).

On Friday, the Missy, Lance and Chrissy arrived, and Mike was feeling better! After everyone had settled in, the Ornament Dinner kicked off the Mac Christmas celebration.

Here are our ornaments. He, of course, got the Diet Coke and I got the Peas in a Pod :)

The Second Table:

The reason I gained 3 lbs:

Mike feeding Eli his dinner. Yummy!

One Christmas Eve gift each! (We all got matching jammies)

Saturday: "Christmas Morning"

First, we had a family breakfast...

And then we opened gifts! Santa was really nice to postpone his post-Christmas vacation until after he visited us on Friday night! And, boy, was he good to us! Thank you Santa for all of the wonderful gifts!!

But, of course, the greatest gift of all was being able to spend time with our loved ones.

We got home last night, unpacked from our trip and took down our Christmas decorations. We had a very happy Christmas and are looking forward to bringing in the new year.

Ho Ho Ho

2008-12-21T19:10:00.008-05:00

This weekend, Mike and I spent some time with my grandparents. They are, without a doubt, the most festive people on the planet and take great pleasure in sharing their Christmas collection.

Two years ago, a local news channel actually did a story on them and their decorations. If I can figure out a way to get something on VHS on to YouTube, I will post it... In the meantime, these pictures will give you an idea:

Mike getting the tour:

I am lucky to have the most wonderful grandparents in the world. They are some of the kindest, sweetest people I know, and they are still head over heels in love with each other. If I could wish for one thing this Christmas, it would be for me and Mike to be as happy in 33 years together as they are.

When I am with them, I pay attention, because under the layers of fake snow, mechanical Santas and singing elves, they hold the secret to what really matters in life.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Whatever and however you celebrate, I hope that your heart is warm and full as this winter begins.

2008-12-14T13:15:00.007-05:00

I feel like we have been going non-stop since the week before Thanksgiving. We've had a great couple of weeks, but we have been busy! I'm happy to report that we are officially finished with all of our Christmas shopping and wrapping, so now we are just enjoying the season!

I think that our paperwhites are going to bloom soon...

This coming week I will do my yearly baking and we will visit with lots of family and friends. Next weekend we are going to the Nutcracker Ballet and then to see my grandparents.

I haven't taken a full week off of work since I started my job in 2006, but Mike and I are both going to for the week of Christmas. We'll spend most of the week relaxing and celebrating with the Macs. I really cannot wait.

And tonight, my sister's cow will be appearing in a local Christmas Pageant...Hopefully, I will get a full report of how this came about and snap a few pictures of the performance! :)

i love this kid.

2008-12-05T11:38:00.003-05:00

Hearts will be broken in the years ahead. Mothers, be warned.

Rachael's Baby Dinner

2008-11-30T21:39:00.005-05:00

To top off an incredible weekend, the girls and I planned a dinner to celebrate the birth of baby Landon. Since this is their second child, Rach didn't want a shower, so we thought a special dinner with our group of girlfriends was the perfect way to celebrate.

We haven't all been together as a group since this summer, so this was a much anticipated gathering.

We had appetizers while we caught up, and then we had dinner and played some games.

We played a HILARIOUS game where you have to guess what kind of chocolate bar is melted in a diaper. We would never have played this in mixed company but it was perfect for tonight...

So gross. So, so, so funny.

AND...............

SURPRISE!!! RENEE IS PREGNANT TOO!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my Gosh, there was a lot of excitement in the house tonight!!! Congratulations Renee and Joel! There are four aunties completely in love with him or her already!

"Ola, you better not get pregnant." I love this picture.

I love my girls!!!

Mocha's Letter Home from Camp

2008-11-29T22:58:00.007-05:00

Dear Mom and Dad,

I had a really good time spending my Thanksgiving vacation at Rosey's house. They do things a little bit differently than we do, but I tried to play along, because I didn't want to hurt their feelings.

In the morning, after Rosey eats breakfast and goes outside to do her business, she gets in bed with Mike and Hillary to snuggle. Can you BELIEVE that?! Well, like I said, I thought it was pretty weird, but I did my best to fit in. Here I am pretending to enjoy myself...

On Thursday morning, everybody got up pretty early. They were running around the house getting ready for the day, so I helped. I oversaw it all and made sure everything was done correctly. Here I am on my perch, directing the morning events.

Don't worry, I was still guarding the house too. I REALLY liked to watch people pass by. Every once in a while, when Rosey said it was time, we would growl in sync. Everyone knew not to mess with us so they just kept on going down the street... A wise decision because we're tough.

Another big difference is that Rosey is (and don't repeat this) kind of lazy. She likes to just sit around and it is so boooooring.

I tried to encourage her to play with me, and sometimes it worked! We ran around the backyard a lot...

And sniffed. Boy, did we do some sniffing...

Oh, and another thing about Rosey is that she is an attention hog. (You probably shouldn't tell her I said that either).

But I know how to stand up for myself! When Rosey was getting too much attention, I politely suggested that I might enjoy some as well. Most of the time, my wishes were respected.

I would say that my favorite part of my vacation was the fireplace. It was really cozy to snuggle up in front of a fire. I would really appreciate it if you would consider relocating my bed at home, please.

Well, all in all, it was a pretty good trip, but I really missed the two of you a whole lot!! Even though I felt very welcome at Rosey's house, there is just no place like home.

Love,

Mokie

Thanksgiving!

2008-11-29T22:30:00.009-05:00

Thanksgiving, in my mind, officially started on Wednesday evening. Mike and I went out for dinner, ran a few errands, came home and prepared the squash and green bean casseroles. We watched a surprisingly good documentary called The King of Kong and went to bed early.

On Thursday we got up around 8, baked a chocolate pie, made corn muffins and broccoli cheddar soup (both of which were for lunch rather than the big dinner) and then got the turkey in the oven.

Kat's family came over around noon and we ate soup on the back porch while we watched the dogs run around in the yard. (Mocha stayed with us while the Macs were out of town.) Afterwards, we relaxed, played games, watched football, and did a little more cooking...

Rascals

A cute mother-daughter moment

Around five, it was time to get down to business...

The Traditional Thanksgiving Picture in our Fam:

We had So. Much. Fun. After dinner was over, we threw everything in the kitchen, put the living room back together and watched A Christmas Story. I am so incredibly thankful for my family and the wonderful day that we were able to share together.

Round Two:

After getting up on Friday morning and decorating for Christmas, Mike and I went over to Wiene and Phil's for their Thanksgiving celebration. Phil is an incredible chef and made Peking Duck, Fried Rice and asparagus rather than the traditional meal. It was outrageously good and we had a great time visiting with everyone. Oh, and did I mention that he made homemade Persimmon Pudding for dessert? Well, he did. God, it was good.

Allyn and John:

John and Alan rockin out:

John then played a request from Allyn. He is so talented!

Jake and Luke, acting, well, like themselves... :)

We are smiling so big because we haven't had so many calories in months. Mmmm....

One of the coolest parts of the night for me was that I got to meet someone who will be in my massage therapy class in March. Her parents live down the road from Wiene and Phil and they all came over for a drink on Friday. She and I had a lot of fun chatting and are going to go out for lunch sometime soon to get to know each other a little better before school starts. Isn't that fun?!

I am seriously overflowing with gratitude from the great weekend we have had. I can't imagine a better feeling to be left with after the party has come to an end.

Hard Work!

2008-11-23T20:16:00.008-05:00

On Friday we woke up to a beautifully snow kissed morning. There was a thin layer on everything in the yard, and the leafless trees glimmered as the sun rose between them. I hope there are many more mornings like this to come.

Thankfully, however, it warmed up a little bit for the weekend, because we had some serious work to do around the house.

First, there was the shed. We have been trying to get it cleaned out for months, and we finally finished it on Saturday morning. It took me a little longer than I expected to sort through everything from my Dad's house, but here are the "after pictures" I promised like 25 posts ago...
After the shed was done, we started Leaf Fest 2008. We blew and raked leaves for 4 or 5 hours, which is much more arduous labor than I had remembered. At the end of the day, I think we were both shocked by how many leaves are on the curb.

Sunday was for mowing, edging and pruning. Ahh, I am so happy it's done!

In the past year, we have literally never filled up our compost bin, but I clipped so much stuff, that there is now an overflow pile...

This is going to be a CrAzY week around here, so stay tuned for more exciting happenings. I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving!!

Eli's Baptism

2008-11-16T13:53:00.010-05:00

Yesterday we witnessed Eli's christening. It was a very sweet event and a lot of fun to see how much he has grown since we last saw him in July. He is absolutely precious. Look at this little angel...

Random Stuff

2008-11-10T19:05:00.012-05:00

I recently decided to try making bread at home for the first time. Rachael taught me how to do it a few weeks ago, but I wasn't extremely confident about doing it alone, especially because we used a Kitchen Aid to mix the dough at her house. I knew that I would have to kneed the dough by hand for twenty minutes, so Mike and I traded off...

The loaf on the left is regular wheat bread and the one on the right is cinnamon-wheat. They both turned out really well, and I am excited to have a new baking skill to work on.

Friday night, Mike's Uncle Frank built a campfire in the Mac's backyard. The weather was PERFECT for visiting outside around a fire.

Deb

Mike and Frank and Deb's Pink Tractor (Yep, that's right.)

Mike's Cell Phone Pics

2008-11-01T15:51:00.012-04:00

Starting with the most recent, here is me and Mocha last weekend:

Meeting baby Elias in early May:

Dog-sitting Maya and Rufus for Julia:

A Detailed Photo Documentary of Rosey's Life:

Lounging:

Begging:

Hiking:

Practicing Yoga:

Snoozing:

Bathing:

Cuddling:

Socializing:

And there you have it, the highlights from his phone's camera from the past year. Apparently, we only take pictures of dogs and babies. :)

Halloween!

2008-11-01T15:34:00.004-04:00

2008-10-28T21:14:00.015-04:00

Last Wednesday night, Mike and I had dinner at my Dad's house. He's getting ready to migrate south for the winter, so it was nice to spend some time over there before he leaves. I took a few pictures, and naturally, they were all of the kids.

Milo attached to Indigo's leg.

Me and Indi being silly together, as usual.

Well, at least I'm not pinching his cheeks, right?

On Friday left to spend some time at the Macs. We had such a good time catching up, watching movies, playing with the dogs, enjoying meals together, etc... We were also finally able to have that lunch we missed a few weeks ago with Mike's Grammy.

While in town, we were able to schedule a visit with the Arons. Mike had gotten a chance to meet baby Abigail at work a few weeks ago, but I hadn't yet, so it was really fun! We brought her this little winter outfit, and Chad sent us this picture yesterday. Isn't she PRECIOUS?!

On Sunday afternoon, after a trip to the Farmer's Market for pumpkins and a trip to Costco for some random stuff we needed, Debbie asked Mike to dig up some sweet potatoes from her incredible garden.

Well, digging them up was pretty fun, but not as good as eating them...

Last night we made sweet potato fries for dinner and they were YuMMy! It is impossible to beat fresh produce, gardened with love.

We also carved our pumpkins last night, which was a blast. We're really excited for Friday!

I struggled for a few minutes with whether or not I should carve an Obama pumpkin, but I ultimately decided that nothing is much scarier than politics, so it seems appropriate in that regard...

Yes We Can.

Please, oh please, say that we will.

Hooray for Fall!

2008-10-19T19:21:00.008-04:00

In addition to the amazing, chilly weather, I love fall for many reasons. I love the decorations, I love pumpkins, I love flannel sheets, and I love putting Rosey in sweaters.

And, believe it or not, she likes it too (I think). When I pull a sweater out, she runs over to me, lays down and waits for me to put it on her. This particular sweater has a really cute owl on the back. She wasn't cooperating as a model, however, and I didn't really get a clear picture from above.

Thankfully, Mike and I are both feeling better now and got to do a few things that we missed out on last weekend.

I got to spend Saturday morning with Rachael, learning how to make bread. Although I haven't attempted to do it on my own yet, I was surprised by how fun it was and how easy it *seems* to be. We'll see if my tune changes when I try to do it on my own. :)

That night we enjoyed the perfect fall dinner. We had split pea soup and the fresh bread. Yummy!

Sunday, I hung out with my sister, Kelly, and she cut my hair off... A little change is always fun!

The luckiest thing that happened this weekend is that we got tickets to see Phish at Hampton Coliseum on March 6-8, 2009. They are coming out of retirement to play three nights and it is TOUGH to get tickets. First there is a lottery through the Phish website and then Ticketmaster releases some a few days later. Through the lottery, you can only enter one credit card registered to a particular address, so we solicited help. We put in ours, Mike's parents and Grammy Mac's info and crossed our fingers that we would get tickets to one night of the show.

The lottery ended and we heard that we didn't win. Grammy called with the news that her card didn't win. We assumed Mike's parents didn't win either.

On Saturday morning, Ticketmaster lines opened at 10am. We called from our cell phones and the house, while trying to get through on the website too. Their tickets were sold out in 8 minutes.

We were so bummed. Scalpers are already selling their tickets on eBay and Craigslist for $1000 a ticket and we can't play that game.

But then, on Sunday afternoon, Debbie called with news that WE WON!!! She checked her email and we won TWO tickets to all THREE nights!!!!! Miracle Tickets!!

We are soooooooooooooooooooooo excited. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to Deb, Mac and Grammy for helping us!!

Crummy Cold!

2008-10-13T10:37:00.010-04:00

I had high hopes of posting the adventures of another great weekend. However, I got sick and had to cancel almost everything. Boo.

Although we still went to Henry's birthday party on Saturday morning, I felt crummy the whole time and we ended up leaving early. I'm really glad we went because he is only going to turn 10 once, but that was about the only thing that could have gotten me up and out of the house.

Things that had to be cancelled: Rachael was going to teach me how to make bread later Saturday evening, and Mike and I were going to take a trip on Sunday. We were going to meet Chad and Talia's new baby girl and then we were going to eat with Mike's Dad and Grammy. I know that we will get to do all of these things soon, but it's still really disappointing!

Here is my only news. Next time you have a cold, I highly recommend Puffs Plus with the scent of Vicks. They make it so much more comfortable when you have to blow your nose a thousand times. I never realized how much a good tissue could improve my spirits.

Please don't stop reading my blog because my biggest news is about tissues. I'll try to post something more interesting in the near future. :)

A Great Weekend.

2008-10-05T15:59:00.007-04:00

Oh baby, we had fun on Friday night. We got to see The Allman Brothers with Phil Lesh and Friends. It was an incredibly beautiful evening for an outdoor concert and the music was awesome.

If you live with someone for long enough, do you start to dress the same way? As soon as we got there, we took off our shoes to sit on the blanket. When we did, we realized that we were wearing the same socks. We felt pretty cool.

Being Silly:
B.E.A.utiful Moon:
Terrible picture, but great music:

The weekend started out well, for sure.

Saturday we slept in and then I met Rachael and Ola for brunch. Later in the afternoon, Mike and I went to our neighborhood's annual picnic. We met some more neighbors and enjoyed ourselves. We didn't eat the incredible looking BBQ though... maybe next year when we have reached our weight loss goals.

Today we have been cleaning out the shed. Yes, we finally got to it. Although it isn't completely finished, we got the majority of it done. Whew. I can't wait to have it behind us. :) I'll take some "after" pictures when that day comes. (Hopefully it will be next weekend.)

Now, I'm going to make some soup, take Rose on a walk and enjoy the rest of this gorgeous evening.

Baby Girard!!

2008-10-05T15:50:00.006-04:00

Casey and Matt came into town last weekend for a visit before Lucien is born in January. They had a baby shower on Sunday, which was really fun and sweet. I am so glad I got to see Casey while she is pregnant--isn't she adorable?!

A Trip to the Farm

2008-09-27T20:08:00.007-04:00

Today I went out to the farm where my sister's cow lives. It's just up the road from her house and it's magical.

See the little, brown cow in the photo? Do you see how tiny she is next to the horse? The sweet baby's name is Raspberry and I had the pleasure of meeting her today.

After visitng with Razzle, Riley and I climbed up in the loft and enjoyed a few quiet moments together, above the action on the farm.

Henry on his way to give Razzle her favorite treat:

The view:

Well, some moments were quieter than others :)

The Egg Collector:

In the same way that Ry has taken to egg collection, Henry has taken to the goats. They are pretty great, as you can see.

A lovely, lovely afternoon.

55

2008-09-23T17:42:00.006-04:00

“The Lady Sparkled”
written by my father...

Today my wife’s spirit severed its worldly tethers, thus ending her last marathon. The journey covered fifty two months rather than the usual twenty six miles, and typically, she finished with style.

My mom, who was a portrait painter of local fame, painted Deb during the first year of their friendship. Her comment to me on their initial encounter was simply, “Debbie sparkles.” That title adorns her portrait today.

In spite of her almost singular physical beauty, people were drawn to Debbie because she brought to life an aura of genuine care and love for her fellow man. She seemed to enhance the lives of those she loved by her non-judgmental acceptance of them, her inner resolve concerning her own principles, and her respect for other’s spaces and feelings. These lines from the pen of William Wordsworth express our deep connection with this special friend:

“And now I see with eye serene
The very pulse of the machine;
A Being breathing thoughtful breath,
A Traveler between life and death;
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength and skill;
A perfect Woman, nobly planned,
To warm, to comfort, and to command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light.”

The lady was a lady.

Deb’s family, both immediate and extended, were the beneficiaries of her great love. Almost all days began and ended with the music of her adoration. Few ever complete the maturation process under a more supportive, loving and patient mother. I am unable to recall hearing our children make a truly disparaging remark about her.

The lady was love.

It would be both incomplete and a disservice to omit mentioning Debbie’s surprisingly strong dedication to succeed when it came to the arenas of sport or some special personal goal. This attribute earned her the nickname “the velvet hammer.” Those against whom she competed will attest to her dogged resolve which occasionally surfaced during a fifth set played under August skies, or when hitting the mythical wall of marathon competition.

The lady was a tiger.

Now can you imagine what special feelings I experienced as we traveled through life together; sharing love and laughter, fun and adventure, the thrills of parenthood, mutual friendships, and finally…pain and sorrow? I know you can!

Today is a celebration of the vitality that was Debbie Davis. She has completed her journey. Like her, we must now cross over a bridge. Ours is from the warmth of loving her to the pain of accepting her departure. I have great confidence that her memory will be in each of us eternally.

The lady sparkled.

Happy Birthday, Mama.

Congratulations, HB and Becky!

2008-09-22T11:19:00.006-04:00

“Lawyer: An individual whose principal role is to protect his clients from others of his profession.” Cute for you two, I thought.

Well, as of this morning, they are officially lawyers! I am proud of my big brother and B! YEAH!

This Week

2008-09-18T09:26:00.005-04:00

Last weekend, Mike and I went to our first meeting of the Improvement and Maintenance Committee in our neighborhood. We got the chance to meet some more of our neighbors and find out about the "issues" in our neighborhood, which was quite interesting. I am now responsible for writing the article that goes in the neighborhood newsletter for this committee. I had been thinking that it would be fun to write for the newsletter, so I am really excited to have a topic and a green light from the group.

Also, we have been getting organized this week. We've cleaned out the office, *started* working on the shed (which is going to be a tedious process, I fear), brought down our winter clothes from storage and reorganized our closet. Mike is teaching me how to sell on eBay and we have 7 auctions going, which is WAY more fun that I thought it was going to be. It's great because we are making a little money and clearing some stuff out of the shed.

At least our eBaying will help offset the cost of the water line that broke in our front yard. Here's the story. Last month we got a note on our door that the city had come to re-read our water meter because it was unusually high. We knew that we had a running toilet, so Mike fixed it and we assumed that the issue was resolved. We've also been cooking a lot more, and we thought that maybe we were using extra water for dishes too. The water bill came in about $100 more than usual, but because we thought that we had fixed the problem, we just paid it and didn't think too much about it.

Well, on Sunday, Mike came inside from mowing the lawn and informed me that there was a HUGE wet spot in the yard. We called the city first thing Monday morning and they told us that our current water bill is at $395. Holy Mackerel! Needless to say, we called a plumber and had it taken care of that day. I called the city back and asked if they could help us out since we didn't know it was a leak, and they said that once the bill generates and they can confirm that we aren't using as much water, they can prorate the bill. Thank goodness!

This coming Saturday morning we are going to work on a Habitat house with Mike's company. I don't know what phase the house is in, but it's a great charity to work for because a. it makes you feel good and b. you learn how to do projects that are really handy for your own place too. Rach, remember when we built the floor of that porch? Hopefully this weekend will be a little easier than that day! :)

Mike and I are also going on Saturday afternoon to visit my grandparents for the night...

Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful weather as much as I am!

Puzzle Club

2008-09-11T17:32:00.005-04:00

Seriously, puzzle club. It started out as a joke, but we are completely serious about it now. We eat, we solve puzzles, "we're not here to make friends" (That's our slogan.)

Sean cooked two amazing pork tenderloins, sauteed carrots, wild rice, and salad. Yum!

Yeah, we pretty much still act like we did when we were 15 when we get together.

Dave and Rufus, and Sean and Maya:

Also, Rosey got to come and play with Maya and Rufus, but they are never still long enough to get a picture of all three of them together.

It was a good meeting.

NEWS ALERT!

2008-09-09T09:35:00.002-04:00

I thought that it was important to announce, due to the harassment I have received over the past year, that I have completed reading the Harry Potter Series. Thank you very much.

:)

More Camping

2008-09-01T15:57:00.015-04:00

This weekend we returned to Crabtree Meadows and set up camp on Saturday. I think that site 67 is my favorite spot there because it is nestled amid tons of trees and is on the outer loop of the campground.

Saturday was pretty typical camping for us. We set up, read for a while, built a fire, cooked dinner and were just hanging out around camp, when a bunch of guys rolled up to a neighboring spot and started unpacking. From the moment they arrived, they were loud and obnoxious but we made it through the night without too many disturbances.

So Sunday morning we were feeling refreshed and took a long hike to the falls.

I will say up front that we didn't carve it, but we thought it was pretty cute that this was on the railing, looking out to the falls:

For the rest of the day, we relaxed, took a beautiful drive on the Parkway and came back in time to build a fire to cook dinner. We had just finished making our pita melts when it started raining.

No big deal, we thought, we had been expecting a few showers over the weekend and had, up until that point, felt very lucky that no rain had fallen at all. So, we threw our stuff in the tent, happily ate our dinner, worked some crosswords, read a little more, talked...were as happy as we could be. We decided to turn in early since it was still raining around 9 and were still feeling cozy and good.

These two were very cozy...

But then the evening turned sour. A few hours of rain was kind of charming, we thought. But it kept raining harder and harder... Let me tell you folks, it rained ALL NIGHT. It rained buckets all night. The tent collapsed in on us at one point because it was raining so hard, which totally freaked me out because I thought a limb had fallen on the tent. Alas, it was the sheer force of the rain.

And it got better. Remember our loud friends from the night before? Their car alarm went off at least 20 times throughout the night, and it would take them about 30 seconds to turn it off each time. Why, you say? How could this happen, you say? These questions, and many others, were discussed and sworn about at 3 a.m. It was shocking because people are usually very considerate at campgrounds on the Parkway.

At the first sign of dawn, with hardly any sleep, we threw everything in the car, soaking wet, and came home. It was, if nothing else, a very memorable night, and we are quite happy to be home.

But I'm sure we'll be back up there within a matter of weeks. Anyone want to join us? ;)

2008-08-28T12:26:00.012-04:00

I feel raw, like I am walking around without my outer layer of skin. I miss my mom so much that it physically hurts. I can step into the moment that I watched her pass away and the emotion is so real that it could have been last night. In reality it will be six years this Saturday: 2190 days since I have seen her face, 52,560 hours since I have heard her voice, 3,153,600 minutes since I have felt her skin. But I can close my eyes and still remember every detail about her. The way she smelled after a run, the way her nails felt when she scratched my back, the sound of her voice as she sang in the shower and while she cooked.

For a long time I didn't want to let go of the pain and loss I felt, because even though the emotions felt horrible, they were real. Anything real was better than the smoky feeling of nothing inside; my sadness padded what was otherwise a stripped core.

I remember babysitting my niece one night a few months after my mom's passing. It was past Ry's bedtime and she had gotten up sobbing, "I want my mommy." We sat on the kitchen floor of my sister's house and cried together because we both missed our moms. I feel sure that Riley has no memory of that night, and I can now look back at that moment with the kind of distance that feels more like empathy for my 19 year old self rather than pity for myself today.

Six years have passed, and although I think about my mom every single hour of my life, I no longer try to hold on to the pain of her absence. My emotions always run a little high around the anniversary of her passing, but typically I just remember her with a glad heart (with a few sad moments interspersed). However, this year feels more challenging than the past few.

My dad is closing on his house tomorrow. The big, empty rooms feel like a manifestation of my emotions while I watched my mom's health decline within their walls. For that reason, cleaning it out and saying goodbye has been cathartic. Starting to be free from that space feels exactly like the slow melt from pain and sadness of losing her to warm memories of her life. I love the idea of a new family moving in and fixing it up, but it is hard to loosen my grip and let it slip away...

New Yoga Class

2008-08-26T11:36:00.003-04:00

My godmother, Wiene, is a yoga instructor so when she and Phil were deciding how to renovate their barn, it was a natural fit to create a space for yoga on their property. There have been a few classes out there before, but on Sunday evening I attended my first.

Maybe it was the fact that I feel so at home at Wiene and Phil's or maybe it was just the beautiful evening glow coming in the windows at dusk, but it was a powerful class for me. I left feeling centered and ready to begin my week. Yes, I think that this will be a good class for me to join.

Ti will also begin teaching a class on Fridays at 5:30, followed by chanting. If anyone is interested in coming to a class, let me know!

Deb's Birthday

2008-08-17T16:14:00.005-04:00

After work on Wednesday, we celebrated Debbie's birthday. We met at Grammy Mac's house, opened a few gifts and then had dinner at a great seafood restaurant. It was a very nice treat, especially for a week night!

Birthdays are so much fun! Thanks for inviting us to celebrate with you, Deb!

It's the smallest things in life...

2008-08-10T08:31:00.002-04:00

"I wanted to tell you I love you in a different way today."

He still gives me butterflies.

Bon Voyage, Alissa!

2008-08-10T07:41:00.004-04:00

Alissa leaves on Tuesday to spend one year in El Paso, so last night her parents had a going away party for her and Ashley (her sister is also leaving this week to study in Denmark for a semester). It was really fun to see everyone but it made reality sink in that the summer is coming to an end and I won't see her for a long time! :(

From left to right: Caitlin, Rylan, Rachael, me, Mike, Joel, Renee and Alissa

Good luck in Texas, Alissa! I will especially miss our lunch dates and having you at book club!

-- Rach, thanks for the hot tip about VitaMuffins. We made some last night... They are only one point each and soooo good! They're my new favorite thing!

July

2008-08-07T08:27:00.016-04:00

July was a whirlwind and I didn't make time to blog much throughout it, so I am going to try to catch everyone up to speed.

We have been doing a lot around the house: fixing, moving, changing, trying to get things just the way we like them (although I am beginning to think that the process will never end! Good thing we still think it's fun most of the time...) Here are the most recent pictures around the house:

I think I have mentioned before that my Dad is trying to sell his house. Well, it is finally under contract (hooray!) and the final push has been under way. Many car-fulls of stuff have been brought home to sort through. It's really fun to have a few things that were around my house growing up incorporated into my home as an adult. It's all very warm and fuzzy. Going through some of the boxes, I have already found some real treasures, including a collection of my schoolwork throughout the years. One favorite is an essay entitled, "How to Ask Your Parents for Money." It's a winner, trust me.

The only downside of all this is the current state of our shed:

At the first sign of fall, I am going to empty it all out and have a serious day of organizing. It's just too hot right now to take on such a huge project in a shed with no a/c

Mid-July, Mike and I spent a wonderful weekend with the Mac crew. We went to a baseball game, shopped at the Farmer's Market, had a pizza-making class with Mike, participated in watching Eli so that Missy and Lance could travel overnight to a wedding, and had a little birthday party for Frank, Missy and me.

The Macs gave me rocking chairs for my birthday and they are amazing. Mike and I sit out on the porch every night now, and I have also found that it's the perfect place to chat when one of my girlfriends comes over to visit!

View from the chairs:

My birthday was absolutely wonderful this year and basically turned into a week of celebration. It started with the party at the Macs, continued with a father-daughter dinner date at my favorite restaurant mid week, brunch with Alissa, Julia and Mike on my birthday...followed by dinner with Mike's parents and Wiene and Phil, and then ended with a decadent breakfast of homemade eclairs at Kat's house on the morning after. Thank you to everyone for making my day so special this year! I had no expectations for my birthday, and it was just one of those times where everything played out in a really, really great way. I feel very grateful for being able to have spent my birthday with so many people I love.

(This was supposedly a gift from Rosey, but she didn't really look like she wanted anything to do with it.)

(Wiene and Phil gave me these incredible pearls)

So, after a week long celebration (and a year of bad decisions about food) Mike and I started Weight Watchers on the 26th of July. We are really liking the program and have both lost a little weight. It's too soon to say too much about it, but so far I think it was a really good move for us.

Well, I think that about does it for our progress report. I will try to post more in August! :)

Mike's Lucky Day!

2008-08-06T12:08:00.004-04:00

I know I have been terrible about updating my blog lately, but this picture arrived in my inbox and I just had to share it! Mike won $500 in a drawing at work today!! How FUN is that!!?!

Family Dinner and the Park

2008-07-12T20:22:00.007-04:00

The 4th of July

2008-07-12T20:08:00.003-04:00

On the 4th, we had a cookout, which turned out to be a wonderful occasion where many of our friends and family members had a chance to meet one another for the first time.

Here are a few pictures that Kat took of the kids lighting sparklers...

Aren't these cool pics?

2008-07-07T15:32:00.000-04:00

"Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift."