Grateful

This Thanksgiving Eve, I am awed by how much I have to be grateful for in my life. It would be an understatement to say that 2007 has been a tumultuous year, so I am incredibly thankful that as it comes to a close, life has slowed down to a more reasonable pace. Interestingly though, I have come to learn that this is a choice. We could all be mired in the drama of our everyday lives if we chose to be, and although there are some situations that are more difficult to walk through than others, it is possible to wake up with a colorfully complicated life and decide to be grateful for the good things in front of you rather than stress out about the less than ideal ones.

Throughout my journey this year, I feel like I have become more connected with the part of my self that I am proud of--the deepest part of my soul that believes in the good of all people and thinks that maybe love really is all you need. This is the person inside me that has the energy to carry around empty bottles so that I can recycle them at home rather than throw them in the nearest trash can. The woman that wants to eat organic foods, buy a hybrid car, and throw my tv off of a mountain somewhere.

It has also made me painfully aware of the parts I am not so proud of. This is the part of me that wants to gossip about people who have hurt my feelings or gossiped about me. The person who is too tired to care about global warming, health care in our country, or what is going on in Iraq. The woman who is too lazy to fix anything but frozen pizza for dinner and wants the damn screenwriters strike to end so The Office will recommence on Thursday nights already.

That's the tricky thing about really getting to know yourself... sometimes the truth hurts. Learning to walk down the middle road, where I can unapolegetically sit with my whole self, requires a kind of knowledge about the high and the low roads that surround it. It demands comfort with groundlessness to experience the present moment and be grateful for everything I find there: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Hopefully, with time, gratitude, forgiveness, patience, and a little bit of grace, I can continue to open my heart to, rather than cultivate a thick skin against, the things and people in my life that challenge me.